I Love Him But Do't Know If He Loves Me Too....

I got married after meeting a person once we actually felt connected as it was the first time in my life i was talking, yes, i always was a listener. i never had the courage to speak what i felt. I was so happy to speak, he made me.
We got married after exact 21 days it was an arrange marriage. I was honestly trembling when he kissed me first, yup i wanted to run away. He had to struggle to make love with me. i remember he scolded me of being immature i cried he fell asleep, i tried to sleep it was 4 in morning when he forcefully took my clothes off and i had sex for the first time.
Slowly i fell in love with him i knew i had to in order to make our marriage successful. Sex is something which has to happen.I started to enjoy a healthy sexual life after 3 months before which we had it everyday sometimes even 4 times a day.
Its been almost an year i love him but he never say that except for when he wants sex. I feel lonely its always like he is accusing me of having small boobs, being thin and everything. i sometimes wonder why is it with indian men they want an educated dumb wife.
Whenever i try to suggest he ignores and when i don't he gets annoyed its like i have to predict what he wants me to say and say it. i feel lonely! Sometimes i badly need a hug and he's not there its childish according to him.
I have a healthy sexual life but i emotionally feel left out. i m tired of crying. He is very caring. But is always using abusive language. I don't enjoy jokes on my parents. He never shares anything.
I have tried telling him what i feel. But he is indifferent. I want to be loved. I need him. what should i do is there anybody to suggest?
vedanshi vedanshi
22-25, F
2 Responses Jul 2, 2012

Though id' not say that you should run... I'd definitely say that any relationship in which u are not happy is not a relationship worth having. I totally understand the the constraints you face as i'm an indian and a delhite too. but there one thing i believe in... take what you want and be ready to pay the price. For otherwise you'd always be unhappy.

You think he is a caring man because you are dependent on him. Any caring man would not treat his wife in that manner. If you can get out, cut your losses and run as fast as you can. If there are no kids, don't have any. Kids do not solve marriage problems.