Going Through The MotionsI have been unhappily married for so many years now but I have made my choices at this time. I am still in this marriage because I have chosen to stay with my kids. Even if people say that it's a wrong reason, I still think that my kids' interest will always be above my own. Much as I want to kick my husband out of the house, I did not do it because I also think my kids are better off growing up with a father by their side.
But it has been really lonely being in this kind of situation. There is so much feelings that I want to express and share but I do not have anyone to do it with. Although I still care for my husband as the father of the kids, I have concluded that he will just remain to be that, in my eyes.
I miss being able to connect with someone physically and emotionally. I crave for physical intimacy - good sex, the works. I want to feel the excitement again, the one which makes me smile when I wake up in the morning and before I go to sleep. I long to be able to bare my soul to someone while I feel assured and accepted.
Going through the motions is what I have been doing for the past years. It has really been lonely for so long and it seems like forever.