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I Am Married But Lonely

Together But Apart

By: gotsheep
Written on August 12th, 2012
Married to the same man 22 years and have wondered so many times why we got married in the first place. We care about each other, but I have never felt the Love for him that I feel like I should feel. I am 44 and get more attention from strangers on the street than I get from him. I feel like there has to be more in my life than this.
By: gotsheep
Age: 41-45 , Female
177 people have read this story

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7 responses
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    needsum77
    needsum77

    I feel the same way. Married for 26 years and feel it was a mistake. There has never been true intimacy and passion. i want so much more.

    Aug 18, 2012
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    gotsheep
    gotsheep

    We have a daughter from my first marriage that he adopted when she was young. He is a handsome good man, but I feel like life is passing me by. We don't have sex. When I try to talk to him about our relationship he says that he doesn't see anything wrong with us. I feel like I want more, but feel guilty about wanting more. Does that make sense. Our daughter is grown, married and expecting her first child so she doesn't factor into this much.

    Aug 13, 2012
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      Mike1964
      Mike1964

      Very similar with me. Haven't had sex with my wife for 8 years. She is just not interested in it anymore. Very little physical contact at all. I too look for more. It is a basic human need. To feel needed, to get and give attention and yes, physical contact.

      Add me as a friend if you would like to talk more about our similar situations.

      Aug 13, 2012
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      gotsheep
      gotsheep

      I have thought for so long that it is just me being needy or wanting more than I deserve. It is hard for me to get past those feelings.

      Aug 13, 2012
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    Mike1964
    Mike1964

    I so understand where you are coming from. Been married for almost 21 years and for the past 8 to 10, we just go through the motions for our kids. I do care about my wife, we get along just fine and I love her as the mother of my children, but there really isn't much else there.

    Aug 13, 2012
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    Chagrinned
    Chagrinned

    It's very frustrating! My wife and I recently celebrated our 20th anniversary. We have two wonderful children together, which makes it all worthwhile. I rushed into marriage over a rebound relationship. My wife is a wonderful mother, but we just never had anything in common except our kids. For the last 8 years I have desired an emotional connection that has never been there, not to mention a physical one. I feel trapped because a split up would be devastating for the kids. Do you have children?

    Aug 13, 2012
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      gotsheep
      gotsheep

      1 child from my first marriage, but my husband adopted her when she was little. She is grown now. I married at 18 the first time and it lasted for 2 yrs and 10 days. He left when my daughter was 6mos old. I am glad he left due to the fact that he was very abusive and I was in fear for my life as well as my child's. So I guess I was also on the rebound when I met my current husband. It seems like so long ago and we have a comfortable life together, but there is something inside me that has been there for a long time. Like a hole or something missing.

      Aug 13, 2012
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