Lost

I've been married (if you want to call it that) for 23 years. We have three children (21,16 and 12). I do everything from paying the bills, raising the children,cleaning the house, grocery shopping, making all the meals, and oh,I have a full time job.

My husband comes from a family of alcoholics, his brother died from a horrible accident soon after we were married, and I recently learned that he was sexually abused when he was a child. He's more and more depressed as time goes on. He will NEVER discuss anything from his past, present or future.

We don't have a relationship whatsoever. He sleeps on the couch. He leaves work and tends to do whatever activity he desires whether it's golfing or just going to his brother's house to hangout. When he does come home he looks like he's been drinking or smoking pot.

I always try to be a positive person. I always try to make it look like everything is great in front of others. It's truly getting to me. I feel like I'm wasting my life with this person. I don't like who I am when I'm with him. I become hateful and down right rude and ugly. I've asked for a divorce. I've asked for him to leave. I've begged him to leave. He won't. I don't feel like I will ever be able to move forward. I feel like I'm in jail.
Jemma33 Jemma33
41-45, F
1 Response Sep 18, 2012

come to me