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I Want A Playmate

I want a playmate. Someone whose company I really enjoy, and we can go to dinner, the movies, a walk, work out together, play games, go the beach, take a vacation...oh I don't know....and so many more things to do together.
I'm tired of going everywhere alone. I've heard it say that if you are single, just go and do what you would do if you are a couple, but I tell you that gets old because we all need and want good company some of the time.
I'm very capable of taking myself anywhere, but I don't want to be alone every single time, week after week, month after month, for years and years.
I want male company, a man whose company I really enjoy, and I want to play, laugh, hug, and have a jolly good time for a change.
Even if we just sit on a rock, and watch the ocean or river or sky, whatever, doing it with someone you like is so very good.
Some of you may notice that I have lowered my expectations. I'm not asking for love anymore that seems to much like a tall order, so I'll settle for good company.
I want to add that I am not looking for a married playmate, as I will not be married for much longer. I don't want to go that route. I have had a number of men who would like to "play," but they were married, and that is not what I am wanting, so I want to clarify that. I'm talking about a genuine friend/lover.
Carissimi Carissimi 56-60, F 40 Responses Oct 2, 2012

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Hi C, you wrote this an year and a half ago. What's the update? Just curious as my marriage boat is on the rocks, and I feel alot like you did when you wrote this.

Again, you've really struck a nerve in me. I feel many of the same things you do. Tired of being alone. Tired of not having anyone to talk to or laugh with, or cry with even. Tired of facing fear alone, of not having anyone to express my joy to. All of it.

I have always said, you never know loneliness like the loneliness of a loveless marriage...I feel for you. It actually takes away all the joy in life, doesn't it?

Baby, I really hope you find him.
Peter xx

I certainly don't want to trivialize this but, as a woman, you are in the driver's seat. I have no doubt you WILL find what you are looking for...what you long for...and I wish you all the luck and happiness in the world. The great thing about being older and finding love and companions, is that we are done with head games by these ages...we know what we want...and we don't, generally, try to change the ones we find. Always makes me laugh when I hear people trying to mold their partner into what they REALLY want...gee...if you are trying to change someone, then they really weren't what you wanted in the first place...you were simply settling. The part that sucks is, for me, if you DO find it...if you find your soul mate, it doesn't necessarily mean you'll end UP with your soul mate...and I am hopeful that soul mate IS SOUL...and not SOLE...maybe I can find it again...but I fear that may not be possible...or maybe too much to hope for.

I think as an older woman I am not in the drivers seat, except to say that my standards for a companion are pretty high. Most men want younger women, even at my age. You may say, or someone did say on one of my stories that maybe I have to lower my standards. The only answer to that is: I have experienced enough pain for three lifetimes. I have learned a lot from it, and now I know what I want. Life is short, and I am not getting any younger, so I would rather be alone than sell myself short again. My own love and self respect deserves the best, and if the best is being alone, I accept. Secondly, if I were to accept less than, I would be untruthful to myself, and being true to myself is high on my agenda. I try not to BS myself, so to live authentically, I live as I live. I am as I am. And so it shall be. :) WO! That sounds so serious, but it\'s true, dear midage.

I don\'t know why these slashes appear every time I use apostrophe.

I have never liked younger women...don\'t know if you read another thread I wrote...but I have ALWAYS been attracted to women ages 40+...and there are a lot of guys out there like me...go out and find yourself a young guy who like experienced and sophisticated women...

AI was with a man for 5 years btn 2000_2005

He had a massive heart attack and I was suddenly alone. Although our relationship was souring for certain reasons I so miss him at times. We use to go for motorcycle rides, day trips visited canyons, reservations, California, took rides on a tandem bike etc. We also liked a lot of the same foods like no red meats vegi stuff he was more open minded and adventurous. He was more of a soulmate than this one I got now!

Although he was drinking more and there were issues with certain family of his it wasn't a total joy ride but I am glad I got to do and see all of what I did with him for it certainly won't be happening aanytime soon.

My husband now idea of planning the weekend is getting the lawn. Done. Maybe we get to go to a movie. Ah well one day life will come in full circle for us all

It sounds like you just need love and compassion, I was in the same boat as you a few years ago, I would tell myself I didn't need anyone to be happy. at first I didn't and did lots of things alone. I travelled, I visited Art Exhibitions and Galleries and went to huge music festivals, all on my own.

I have never felt so alone as when standing in a crowd of hundreds of thousands of people with no-one to talk to.
To see a sunrise with no-one to turn to and say WOW or someone to say " I Love You " when you need to hear it.
I have had showers in waterfalls, climbed mountains, and camped out under the stars watching 100's of shooting stars light up the sky. . . . I have seen so many things yet all were empty shallow experiences with no-one to share them with.

I think it's why institutions use solitary confinement as a form of punishment.
Human beings aren't meant to be solitary animals.

I hope some day you find who you are looking for.

Have an amazing and happy life. x

Thank you for sharing such insight into being single and living life to the full...and yet without someone special it becomes empty. Recently, I decided I can live alone without anyone, and I felt okay with it for the first time in my life...even looked forward to it...then someone said about sharing a joy with someone, and I realized that no matter how much I may do alone, and be okay with it, if there is nobody to share the joy.....and sometimes the sorrow...it does indeed leave an empty place in one\'s self. Life really is about sharing and connecting. You are right, solitary confinement is a cruel punishment. One can go mad like that and some do.
I hope you too find someone to share your life and wonderful experiences.
Namaste

NEVER feel bad about wanting a life...everyone deserves happiness

I don\'t feel bad, dear. What gave you that idea?

guess I detected a little lament for your feeling those desires...sorry about that.

No, I don\'t feel sad for having desires, only find it sad at times not to have those desires fulfilled.

can u do these things with a married man who is 25 years old? :)

No.

clear answer. i like it

:)

We always end up at Taco Bell though. I mean I have really tried to show you a great time but alas.......

I am at that stage rignt now also...just want some fun

I hope you find what you are looking for you sound like an amazing woman.

Thank you very much, MauLoa.

so true and I understand. One of the things that I miss the most, amazingly yes I miss the sex, but I miss most being able to sleep on a man's chest/shoulder and for him to willing wrap himself around me in sleep.

I miss the sleeping together and sleeping intimacy the most.

You are so sweet !!

Thanks! You never did share that story with me. I'm still waiting.

Been traveling lots. Again tmrw to HK and Thailand. I will tell u for sure

Love your stories. Just finished yoga class; my endorphins are dancing. Sense yoga, and the journey towards the balance of life will continue to be healing and healthy for you. Namaste.

This is why I wrote my sory a while ago, we need to wear a T-Shirt. There are so many here, If we identify ourselves we would be able to interpret without knowledge of our partners and would be able to plan and coordinate meet and greets in discretion. If is wonderful living in fantasy land! lol I have found that smiling and flirting in every interaction during a day if a chance to have a coffeee and a conversation and maybe something deeper with a person. Just talking out loud. have a routine, see the same ppl and smile and flirt. You may be surprised who talks back.

Maybe we can even have a secret handshake :)

No dear, I do not identify myself as my experience, and I do not want to wear a tee-shirt for the world to see. I also respect my H identity, and would never want the public to know (except anonymously...like here...where I can express suffering) the state of the relationship. Do whatever works for you, and I wish you luck...tee-shirt or no tee-shirt.
Namaste

I'd like the same thing. I wish I knew where to find it, I'd gladly share the info.

If I find one, I'll share it too. :)

I gave up on love a few years ago. A playmate is about all I could ask for now.

Then again if I did find something like that, I probably would fall in love.

Always possible, but I see that as icing on the cake as long as the feelings are mutual.

My expectations have lowered as well. I'll settle for someone that's good company that treats me nicely.

Good company is great. I mean isn't that what you want in anyone? To be such good company, you want to spend time with them? But as you said, if I want to be with someone like that, I may well fall in love.

I identify so much with this.

Sorry that you do. I read your story while I was offline so could not comment, but it's very sad that any of us have to live this way. Best to you.

I know the feeling. Are you from the midwest?

Everyone deserves happiness and so do you! Get some! Don't settle. Chase it and catch it.

I would enjoy having company when I travel by myself. Last month I had a king sized bed and a jacuzzi for two and there was just me in Flagstaff Az. I am planning on going to Washington DC for Memorial Day and I plan on going back to AZ. again in the fall.

Enjoy! Hope you find your playmate. ;)

Have you ever considered a younger playmate? I love to go camping, hiking, biking, etc...

Age does not matter to a certain degree, but certainly not someone in their 20s or early to mid 30s. I'm not into cradle snatching. But hey, if someone of 40 is interested in a much older woman, and we are mutually attracted, or the same with an 80-year old, as long as he's healthy and fit and good company, that is what is more important to me. Do I actually want to spend time with this person?

Sounds like u and I have something in common. I would to like to have a friend I can just hang out with and do things with once in a while. In a sexless marriage and just want companionship. Wished we lived closer to one another for I do have a harley and I do ride a lot in the summer.

I so understand how you feel. My husband is a lot older than me. I would love to go for a ride on a Harley.......take a walk to the park, there are many things I can do by myself too. Like you I would like someone to do something with and share an interest in......

i cannot promise you the world but i would love to get to know you and see what can happen. i think growing together is a process and worth trying to develop... xoxo jim

Jim, first, we live too far apart, and second, your profile tells me we are not compatible.

just because i am a sexual sensual person doesnt mean anything bad. it would be like reading one of your stories and inferring all from that. i do respect your thoughts however and abide by that... i think its a shame cause , if your storys r true, you may miss something reallly wonderful, but that is your call. best wishes on everything jim

There is a difference between being sexual and being overtly sexual in public. I have nothing against your profile per se, except as I said it is too graphic for me, so we would have nothing in common. I too am a sexual person, but I like to keep it between me and someone special. Just different people.
Oh, and all my stories are true.

as u wish i am always willing to chat w anyone w anything but no one can open a closed mind best of wishes in all u try for

Dear, why can't you accept that you have certain preferences, and so does everyone else, including me. We come on EP to make friends who we have something in common with. That usually shows by profile, groups, friends, stories etc. The fact that my profile and yours are completely different does not make me close minded, it makes me different. That is all. Have a good life.
Namaste.

i think everyone has different preferences, ways of relating etc. what turns one on may not be the same for another and that is normal. i just dont see my profile as a complete picture, even the stories (which are true) that u or i have said. it definitely gives insight into another but not anywhere near the whole picture...that takes time and lots of honest convo and getting to know one another. two ppl can even agree on everything and not be right or remotely right for each other. i clearly indicated no guarantees etc, just that i highly like and felt something within your stories, and desired to know you more. smiles wasnt a invite to play, or to get anything other than an opportunity to possibly move to friendship and who knows. obviously u have indicated who and what i am and that is ok i still wish you the best and hope you find what your looking for...jim

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i so relate to your thoughts. but i also want the love eventually if the person is right. to be honest i want everything... the sensuality, caring, love. all wrapped up as one. can we talk plz. thank,s jim

Like I said, your profile is too sexually explicit for me. That is not what I am looking for. Best to you in your search for love.

Nice to hear from you Carissimi, Ilove going with women. I enjoy their company. so, If you need someone as buddy, you can rely on me. I could be your friend and partner in everything.

Great now I have a playmate, who is? From where? Whom I know nothing about.

I understand what you're saying Carissimi, I really do. Virtually every place I go, I am alone. And the sad part is, I'm getting used to it. I've had desires as you have stated, the "just sitting on a rock" with someone would be really nice sometimes. Good luck in your quest! HD

Thank you, 10HD. I'm getting used to some of it too. Sitting on a rock watching the ocean is free and I would enjoy it more than a fancy dinner any day. I wish you, like me, find emotional peace in the company of another good soul.

Thanks!