I Am Married But Lonely

I Want A Playmate

By: Carissimi

Written on October 2nd, 2012

I want a playmate. Someone whose company I really enjoy, and we can go to dinner, the movies, a walk, work out together, play games, go the beach, take a vacation...oh I don't know....and so many more things to do together.
I'm tired of going everywhere alone. I've heard it say that if you are single, just go and do what you would do if you are a couple, but I tell you that gets old because we all need and want good company some of the time.
I'm very capable of taking myself anywhere, but I don't want to be alone every single time, week after week, month after month, for years and years.
I want male company, a man whose company I really enjoy, and I want to play, laugh, hug, and have a jolly good time for a change.
Even if we just sit on a rock, and watch the ocean or river or sky, whatever, doing it with someone you like is so very good.
Some of you may notice that I have lowered my expectations. I'm not asking for love anymore that seems to much like a tall order, so I'll settle for good company.

By: Carissimi

Age: 51-55 , Female

1,865 people have read this story

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65 responses

JRD22

This is why I wrote my sory a while ago, we need to wear a T-Shirt. There are so many here, If we identify ourselves we would be able to interpret without knowledge of our partners and would be able to plan and coordinate meet and greets in discretion. If is wonderful living in fantasy land! lol I have found that smiling and flirting in every interaction during a day if a chance to have a coffeee and a conversation and maybe something deeper with a person. Just talking out loud. have a routine, see the same ppl and smile and flirt. You may be surprised who talks back.

Apr 16
1 like
- IndigoFire
  Maybe we can even have a secret handshake :)
  
  Apr 16
  1 like
- Carissimi
  No dear, I do not identify myself as my experience, and I do not want to wear a tee-shirt for the world to see. I also respect my H identity, and would never want the public to know (except anonymously...like here...where I can express suffering) the state of the relationship. Do whatever works for you, and I wish you luck...tee-shirt or no tee-shirt.
  Namaste
  
  Apr 22
  1 like
lonelyrunawaytrain

I'd like the same thing. I wish I knew where to find it, I'd gladly share the info.

Apr 14
2 likes
- Carissimi
  If I find one, I'll share it too. :)
  
  Apr 14
  1 like
unimatrix001

I gave up on love a few years ago. A playmate is about all I could ask for now.

Apr 14
1 like
IndigoFire

Then again if I did find something like that, I probably would fall in love.

Apr 12
2 likes
- Carissimi
  Always possible, but I see that as icing on the cake as long as the feelings are mutual.
  
  Apr 14
  1 like
IndigoFire

My expectations have lowered as well. I'll settle for someone that's good company that treats me nicely.

Apr 12
2 likes
- Carissimi
  Good company is great. I mean isn't that what you want in anyone? To be such good company, you want to spend time with them? But as you said, if I want to be with someone like that, I may well fall in love.
  
  Apr 14
  1 like
justinlimbertake

I identify so much with this.

Apr 11
3 likes
- Carissimi
  Sorry that you do. I read your story while I was offline so could not comment, but it's very sad that any of us have to live this way. Best to you.
  
  Apr 14
  1 like
andynnn2

I know the feeling. Are you from the midwest?

Apr 6
1 like
lakemike

Everyone deserves happiness and so do you! Get some! Don't settle. Chase it and catch it.

Apr 4
1 like
coexist1976

I am in complete agreement......a playmate would be wonderful!!!!

Mar 24
2 likes
Pmacphoto

I would enjoy having company when I travel by myself. Last month I had a king sized bed and a jacuzzi for two and there was just me in Flagstaff Az. I am planning on going to Washington DC for Memorial Day and I plan on going back to AZ. again in the fall.

Mar 24
1 like
- Carissimi
  Enjoy! Hope you find your playmate. ;)
  
  Mar 24
  1 like
dirk0783

Have you ever considered a younger playmate? I love to go camping, hiking, biking, etc...

Mar 24
1 like
- Carissimi
  Age does not matter to a certain degree, but certainly not someone in their 20s or early to mid 30s. I'm not into cradle snatching. But hey, if someone of 40 is interested in a much older woman, and we are mutually attracted, or the same with an 80-year old, as long as he's healthy and fit and good company, that is what is more important to me. Do I actually want to spend time with this person?
  
  Mar 24
  1 like
wishound

Sounds like u and I have something in common. I would to like to have a friend I can just hang out with and do things with once in a while. In a sexless marriage and just want companionship. Wished we lived closer to one another for I do have a harley and I do ride a lot in the summer.

Mar 4
1 like
aradia11

I so understand how you feel. My husband is a lot older than me. I would love to go for a ride on a Harley.......take a walk to the park, there are many things I can do by myself too. Like you I would like someone to do something with and share an interest in......

Feb 27
1 like
handymanjim

i cannot promise you the world but i would love to get to know you and see what can happen. i think growing together is a process and worth trying to develop... xoxo jim

Feb 25
1 like
- Carissimi
  Jim, first, we live too far apart, and second, your profile tells me we are not compatible.
  
  Feb 26
  1 like
- handymanjim
  just because i am a sexual sensual person doesnt mean anything bad. it would be like reading one of your stories and inferring all from that. i do respect your thoughts however and abide by that... i think its a shame cause , if your storys r true, you may miss something reallly wonderful, but that is your call. best wishes on everything jim
  
  Feb 26
  1 like
- Carissimi
  There is a difference between being sexual and being overtly sexual in public. I have nothing against your profile per se, except as I said it is too graphic for me, so we would have nothing in common. I too am a sexual person, but I like to keep it between me and someone special. Just different people.
  Oh, and all my stories are true.
  
  Feb 26
  1 like
- handymanjim
  as u wish i am always willing to chat w anyone w anything but no one can open a closed mind best of wishes in all u try for
  
  Feb 26
  1 like
- Carissimi
  Dear, why can't you accept that you have certain preferences, and so does everyone else, including me. We come on EP to make friends who we have something in common with. That usually shows by profile, groups, friends, stories etc. The fact that my profile and yours are completely different does not make me close minded, it makes me different. That is all. Have a good life.
  Namaste.
  
  Feb 26
  1 like
- handymanjim
  i think everyone has different preferences, ways of relating etc. what turns one on may not be the same for another and that is normal. i just dont see my profile as a complete picture, even the stories (which are true) that u or i have said. it definitely gives insight into another but not anywhere near the whole picture...that takes time and lots of honest convo and getting to know one another. two ppl can even agree on everything and not be right or remotely right for each other. i clearly indicated no guarantees etc, just that i highly like and felt something within your stories, and desired to know you more. smiles wasnt a invite to play, or to get anything other than an opportunity to possibly move to friendship and who knows. obviously u have indicated who and what i am and that is ok i still wish you the best and hope you find what your looking for...jim
  
  Feb 26
  1 like
3 More Replies
handymanjim

i so relate to your thoughts. but i also want the love eventually if the person is right. to be honest i want everything... the sensuality, caring, love. all wrapped up as one. can we talk plz. thank,s jim

Feb 25
1 like
- Carissimi
  Like I said, your profile is too sexually explicit for me. That is not what I am looking for. Best to you in your search for love.
  
  Feb 26
  1 like
bikuda

Nice to hear from you Carissimi, Ilove going with women. I enjoy their company. so, If you need someone as buddy, you can rely on me. I could be your friend and partner in everything.

Jan 27
1 like
- Carissimi
  Great now I have a playmate, who is? From where? Whom I know nothing about.
  
  Jan 31
  1 like
1OHD

I understand what you're saying Carissimi, I really do. Virtually every place I go, I am alone. And the sad part is, I'm getting used to it. I've had desires as you have stated, the "just sitting on a rock" with someone would be really nice sometimes. Good luck in your quest! HD

Dec 28, 2012
2 likes
- Carissimi
  Thank you, 10HD. I'm getting used to some of it too. Sitting on a rock watching the ocean is free and I would enjoy it more than a fancy dinner any day. I wish you, like me, find emotional peace in the company of another good soul.
  
  Jan 1
  1 like
- 1OHD
  Thanks!
  
  Jan 1
  1 like
jackjjackson

How do I apply? Where are you located?

Dec 28, 2012
1 like
realking4sure

I wanna play with you, baebae.

Oct 23, 2012
1 like
xyzalphabetman

You sound like a deep, soulful person........you're not alone in the way you feel. People do grow apart, it's a fact of life and everyone deals with this problem in different ways. I myself have had numerous affairs over the years and I have to admit that it's helped me cope with my situation at home. my wife doesn't know and, hopefully, never will. I know it's not for everyone, but then again we're all different.

Oct 10, 2012
1 like
- Carissimi
  Why do you stay, if you have had other relationships? I have had none, except one online and that was after 20-years of unhappiness.
  
  Oct 11, 2012
  1 like
- xyzalphabetman
  I stay because my wife and son need me, both emotionally and financially. Their needs will always come before mine.....besides, I still love my wife even though the physical side is far from acceptable.
  
  Oct 12, 2012
  1 like
- Carissimi
  I see. Well thank you for your response, and reading my story. I wish you the best.
  
  Oct 12, 2012
  1 like
clgsassy

Oh, Carissimi...
I feel ya...
Reading what you wrote broke it down to me
One aspect, up until
now, i have been unable to identify...
The fact that even tho I CAN
do everything alone,
Can take care of my own self...
doesn't mean that
in any way
appeals to me...
thanks,
joyinthejourney, clg

Oct 8, 2012
1 like
- Carissimi
  True, cigassy. What we CAN do, and what we WANT to do, or have, are two different things. Namaste.
  
  Oct 8, 2012
  1 like
Keith46

I am so sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time in finding some one to share time with you. You are such an enjoyable person to share thoughts with here,that I just can not beleave that some one passing you at a store hasn't asked you to coffee at least.

Oct 6, 2012
1 like
- Carissimi
  In truth, Keith, I can't say that I have been looking. I mean when I go to the store, or bookshop or anywhere like that I'm not thinking of finding anyone. It's not something that is on my mind while I'm out. And, even when I was young and beautiful, meeting this way never occurred. It just has never happened that way for me. I think chance meetings at the store are more likely in a movie.
  Thanks for visiting friend. You are always welcome.
  
  Oct 6, 2012
  1 like
- Keith46
  Granted most people do not go to said places looking for some one to be with, I mean who plans on meeting some one while washing cloths. For my self I have always meet some one when I wasn't thinking or looking for one,as lovely as you are it will happen again.
  
  Oct 7, 2012
  1 like
- clgsassy
  What do you mean
  "When I WAS
  young and beautiful?"
  I f your AVATAR is your image,
  you are still very naturally
  BEAUTIFUL!
  so there!
  joyinthejourney, clg
  
  Oct 8, 2012
  1 like
Neveragainsag

I'm married...and I desire all of those things..

Oct 5, 2012
1 like
- Carissimi
  Me too...
  
  Oct 6, 2012
  1 like
- Neveragainsag
  Who knew a marriage could be so...idk..lacking..
  
  Oct 6, 2012
  1 like
- Carissimi
  It's a bit of a shock, at first, but after living in the twilight zone for years, you find that so many others are going through very similar situations. However, I'm pretty sure we are the unlucky ones because I just know there has to be very good marriages out there. I hope it all works out for you.
  
  Oct 6, 2012
  1 like
bowman81

Good company....can be love. Maybe not the usual kind we think of...but love none the less. I wish you well in your search.

Oct 5, 2012
2 likes
- Carissimi
  Yes, you are right. Love comes on many levels. I think a good rapport and understanding is the main thing for me, and if I got that, and found the man attractive, I would probably fall in love with him anyway to a certain extent.
  I do not search though...I never have. I just hope it happens.
  Thanks dear for visiting and good wishes.
  
  Oct 5, 2012
  1 like
soulmate2u

There are so many of us in this same situation. I feel bad for you. I hope that you can find someone who could be that special friend that you need. I have actually decided to join Ashley Madison.com to try to find a close loving friend. At first, I felt kind of guilty about it. Like I was doing something wrong or immoral. But then I looked at it from a larger picture and I see that I deserve love, affection, intimacy, and someone to share life with. I am worthy of that. I dont have to be lonely anymore. I know logically that it is OK for me to be happy and to want to give love to another person and receive that love in return. There are just too many lonely souls out there.
But, I still feel a tiny bit guilty. Maybe it's how I was raised. I don't know. But I am going to get passed that guilt and I am going to find a person I can connect with and have fun being with. Life really is too short not to love and we were not put here to suffer. So, I am going to find someone who will love being with me.
I hope that you can find that also. It breaks my heart to read about another who is in the pain of lonliness because I am there also and have been there for a very long time. I wish the best for you and I hope you can find all the love, joy, and closeness that you seek.

Oct 3, 2012
2 likes
- Carissimi
  You have to find what works for you, but Ashley Madison is not somewhere you will find what I want. It's all about no strings attached sex, and that's not what I'm talking about. I mean a true friend. Good luck to you anyways.
  
  Oct 3, 2012
  1 like
- soulmate2u
  Yeah, you are probably right. Although, I have found some women on there that are looking for true love and not just sex. Personnally, I am looking for my True Soulmate, so I am looking elswhere besides Ashley Madison. There is one sight specifically for Soulmates. Either way, it's like you say, we all have to do what works for us. I sincerely hope that you find what you are looking for. I don't like to see anyone lonely.
  
  Oct 3, 2012
  1 like
- Carissimi
  Thanks, but I'm not actively looking. I never have. With me, either it comes along or it does not, so I leave it to destiny or whatever one calls it. It's been more than 20-years of sheer loneliness....except for a few precious months this year....but if that's the way it is, then that's the way it is.
  
  Oct 3, 2012
  1 like
- clgsassy
  What I just read
  brought fresh tears to my eyes...
  It's like asking myself,
  "Would you rather die from being beaten to death, or starved to death?"
  seriously...
  neither...
  both suck
  joyinthejourney, clg
  
  Oct 8, 2012
  1 like
- Carissimi
  I just saw your reply, cigsassy. I don't come on here very often now. Just wanted to say that you make a good point. It does suck...very much.
  Namste
  
  Jan 1
  1 like
2 More Replies
1OHD

I understand and empathize with your comments. I'm so tired of going and doing things alone, too. It just gets old. A playmate is a great idea, but hard to find, at least for me so far. I wish you the best in your quest.

Oct 3, 2012
1 like
- Carissimi
  Thank you, but it's not a quest. I mean I don't actively search for a playmate or anyone. If it happens it happens, but so far it has not, and then you have to come across someone who you really hit it off with, and want to spend time with, and I don't think we come across that many people with whom we have a great rapport. We may like them, but not someone we want to spend hours of our day with. Good luck.
  
  Oct 3, 2012
  1 like
- 1OHD
  Excellent point, especially with the many risks involved, like getting caught, disease, etc. And of course they're gotta wanna spend time with you--a two way street kind of a thing. I've met a very few on this site that very well could qualify, but they're in other states or half a world away.
  
  Oct 3, 2012
  1 like
- Carissimi
  Getting caught?
  
  Oct 3, 2012
  1 like
ihavehadenough

I can truly. Understand that. Cuz i want the same. It doesn't have to b male, it can b female. Im just looking for someone to talk to. Someone to share things wit. So i really understand u. Whole hearty

Oct 3, 2012
3 likes
- Carissimi
  Thank you, dear. I hope someone comes into your life sooner than later. Take care.
  
  Oct 5, 2012
  1 like

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