I Want A Playmate

I want a playmate. Someone whose company I really enjoy, and we can go to dinner, the movies, a walk, work out together, play games, go the beach, take a vacation...oh I don't know....and so many more things to do together.
I'm tired of going everywhere alone. I've heard it say that if you are single, just go and do what you would do if you are a couple, but I tell you that gets old because we all need and want good company some of the time.
I'm very capable of taking myself anywhere, but I don't want to be alone every single time, week after week, month after month, for years and years.
I want male company, a man whose company I really enjoy, and I want to play, laugh, hug, and have a jolly good time for a change.
Even if we just sit on a rock, and watch the ocean or river or sky, whatever, doing it with someone you like is so very good.
Some of you may notice that I have lowered my expectations. I'm not asking for love anymore that seems to much like a tall order, so I'll settle for good company.
I want to add that I am not looking for a married playmate, as I will not be married for much longer. I don't want to go that route. I have had a number of men who would like to "play," but they were married, and that is not what I am wanting, so I want to clarify that. I'm talking about a genuine friend/lover.
Carissimi Carissimi
56-60, F
35 Responses Oct 2, 2012

Good company would be nice too have :-)

That's the most important thing to me now, with some kindness and affection thrown in for good measure.

oooooooohhhhh hello darling

Merry Christmas Sweetie , I was reading your Profile all the way ,please tell me now your husband does not touch you ?

I agree and feel the same

I've been married 11 yrs and haven't had sex since the birth of our child 5 yrs ago

Yes, it's tough, but give it another 23- years or so and the desire will probably diminish. Or - you can change your life and find another.

Hi C, you wrote this an year and a half ago. What's the update? Just curious as my marriage boat is on the rocks, and I feel alot like you did when you wrote this.

Divorced. Still alone and probably will remain so. I think the desire leaves you after so long and you just hold on to a memory of love of what might have been.

Oh maybe not, and maybe we might enjoy some one on one conversation. I'll send you a private message on that. Thanks, and good to hear from you.

With respect, after looking at your profile, I doubt we have anything in common. I'm not here looking for sexual encounters.

Sure no problem. Just to be clear, I'm not actually looking for an "encounter" either, but chatting is ok. Thanks.

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Again, you've really struck a nerve in me. I feel many of the same things you do. Tired of being alone. Tired of not having anyone to talk to or laugh with, or cry with even. Tired of facing fear alone, of not having anyone to express my joy to. All of it.

Baby, I really hope you find him.
Peter xx

AI was with a man for 5 years btn 2000_2005

He had a massive heart attack and I was suddenly alone. Although our relationship was souring for certain reasons I so miss him at times. We use to go for motorcycle rides, day trips visited canyons, reservations, California, took rides on a tandem bike etc. We also liked a lot of the same foods like no red meats vegi stuff he was more open minded and adventurous. He was more of a soulmate than this one I got now!

Although he was drinking more and there were issues with certain family of his it wasn't a total joy ride but I am glad I got to do and see all of what I did with him for it certainly won't be happening aanytime soon.

My husband now idea of planning the weekend is getting the lawn. Done. Maybe we get to go to a movie. Ah well one day life will come in full circle for us all

can u do these things with a married man who is 25 years old? :)


clear answer. i like it


We always end up at Taco Bell though. I mean I have really tried to show you a great time but alas.......

I am at that stage rignt now also...just want some fun

I hope you find what you are looking for you sound like an amazing woman.

Thank you very much, MauLoa.

so true and I understand. One of the things that I miss the most, amazingly yes I miss the sex, but I miss most being able to sleep on a man's chest/shoulder and for him to willing wrap himself around me in sleep.

I miss the sleeping together and sleeping intimacy the most.

You are so sweet !!

Thanks! You never did share that story with me. I'm still waiting.

Been traveling lots. Again tmrw to HK and Thailand. I will tell u for sure

Love your stories. Just finished yoga class; my endorphins are dancing. Sense yoga, and the journey towards the balance of life will continue to be healing and healthy for you. Namaste.

I'd like the same thing. I wish I knew where to find it, I'd gladly share the info.

If I find one, I'll share it too. :)

I gave up on love a few years ago. A playmate is about all I could ask for now.

Then again if I did find something like that, I probably would fall in love.

Always possible, but I see that as icing on the cake as long as the feelings are mutual.

My expectations have lowered as well. I'll settle for someone that's good company that treats me nicely.

Good company is great. I mean isn't that what you want in anyone? To be such good company, you want to spend time with them? But as you said, if I want to be with someone like that, I may well fall in love.

I identify so much with this.

Sorry that you do. I read your story while I was offline so could not comment, but it's very sad that any of us have to live this way. Best to you.

I know the feeling. Are you from the midwest?

I would enjoy having company when I travel by myself. Last month I had a king sized bed and a jacuzzi for two and there was just me in Flagstaff Az. I am planning on going to Washington DC for Memorial Day and I plan on going back to AZ. again in the fall.

Enjoy! Hope you find your playmate. ;)

Have you ever considered a younger playmate? I love to go camping, hiking, biking, etc...

Age does not matter to a certain degree, but certainly not someone in their 20s or early to mid 30s. I'm not into cradle snatching. But hey, if someone of 40 is interested in a much older woman, and we are mutually attracted, or the same with an 80-year old, as long as he's healthy and fit and good company, that is what is more important to me. Do I actually want to spend time with this person?

Sounds like u and I have something in common. I would to like to have a friend I can just hang out with and do things with once in a while. In a sexless marriage and just want companionship. Wished we lived closer to one another for I do have a harley and I do ride a lot in the summer.

I so understand how you feel. My husband is a lot older than me. I would love to go for a ride on a Harley.......take a walk to the park, there are many things I can do by myself too. Like you I would like someone to do something with and share an interest in......

i cannot promise you the world but i would love to get to know you and see what can happen. i think growing together is a process and worth trying to develop... xoxo jim

Jim, first, we live too far apart, and second, your profile tells me we are not compatible.

just because i am a sexual sensual person doesnt mean anything bad. it would be like reading one of your stories and inferring all from that. i do respect your thoughts however and abide by that... i think its a shame cause , if your storys r true, you may miss something reallly wonderful, but that is your call. best wishes on everything jim

There is a difference between being sexual and being overtly sexual in public. I have nothing against your profile per se, except as I said it is too graphic for me, so we would have nothing in common. I too am a sexual person, but I like to keep it between me and someone special. Just different people.
Oh, and all my stories are true.

as u wish i am always willing to chat w anyone w anything but no one can open a closed mind best of wishes in all u try for

Dear, why can't you accept that you have certain preferences, and so does everyone else, including me. We come on EP to make friends who we have something in common with. That usually shows by profile, groups, friends, stories etc. The fact that my profile and yours are completely different does not make me close minded, it makes me different. That is all. Have a good life.

i think everyone has different preferences, ways of relating etc. what turns one on may not be the same for another and that is normal. i just dont see my profile as a complete picture, even the stories (which are true) that u or i have said. it definitely gives insight into another but not anywhere near the whole picture...that takes time and lots of honest convo and getting to know one another. two ppl can even agree on everything and not be right or remotely right for each other. i clearly indicated no guarantees etc, just that i highly like and felt something within your stories, and desired to know you more. smiles wasnt a invite to play, or to get anything other than an opportunity to possibly move to friendship and who knows. obviously u have indicated who and what i am and that is ok i still wish you the best and hope you find what your looking for...jim

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i so relate to your thoughts. but i also want the love eventually if the person is right. to be honest i want everything... the sensuality, caring, love. all wrapped up as one. can we talk plz. thank,s jim

Like I said, your profile is too sexually explicit for me. That is not what I am looking for. Best to you in your search for love.

Nice to hear from you Carissimi, Ilove going with women. I enjoy their company. so, If you need someone as buddy, you can rely on me. I could be your friend and partner in everything.

Great now I have a playmate, who is? From where? Whom I know nothing about.

I wanna play with you, baebae.

You sound like a deep, soulful person........you're not alone in the way you feel. People do grow apart, it's a fact of life and everyone deals with this problem in different ways. I myself have had numerous affairs over the years and I have to admit that it's helped me cope with my situation at home. my wife doesn't know and, hopefully, never will. I know it's not for everyone, but then again we're all different.

Why do you stay, if you have had other relationships? I have had none, except one online and that was after 20-years of unhappiness.

I stay because my wife and son need me, both emotionally and financially. Their needs will always come before mine.....besides, I still love my wife even though the physical side is far from acceptable.

I see. Well thank you for your response, and reading my story. I wish you the best.

Oh, Carissimi...
I feel ya...
Reading what you wrote broke it down to me
One aspect, up until
now, i have been unable to identify...
The fact that even tho I CAN
do everything alone,
Can take care of my own self...
doesn't mean that
in any way
appeals to me...
joyinthejourney, clg

True, cigassy. What we CAN do, and what we WANT to do, or have, are two different things. Namaste.

I am so sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time in finding some one to share time with you. You are such an enjoyable person to share thoughts with here,that I just can not beleave that some one passing you at a store hasn't asked you to coffee at least.

In truth, Keith, I can't say that I have been looking. I mean when I go to the store, or bookshop or anywhere like that I'm not thinking of finding anyone. It's not something that is on my mind while I'm out. And, even when I was young and beautiful, meeting this way never occurred. It just has never happened that way for me. I think chance meetings at the store are more likely in a movie.
Thanks for visiting friend. You are always welcome.

Granted most people do not go to said places looking for some one to be with, I mean who plans on meeting some one while washing cloths. For my self I have always meet some one when I wasn't thinking or looking for one,as lovely as you are it will happen again.

What do you mean
"When I WAS
young and beautiful?"
I f your AVATAR is your image,
you are still very naturally
so there!
joyinthejourney, clg

I'm married...and I desire all of those things..

Me too...

Who knew a marriage could be so...idk..lacking..

It's a bit of a shock, at first, but after living in the twilight zone for years, you find that so many others are going through very similar situations. However, I'm pretty sure we are the unlucky ones because I just know there has to be very good marriages out there. I hope it all works out for you.

Good company....can be love. Maybe not the usual kind we think of...but love none the less. I wish you well in your search.

Yes, you are right. Love comes on many levels. I think a good rapport and understanding is the main thing for me, and if I got that, and found the man attractive, I would probably fall in love with him anyway to a certain extent.
I do not search though...I never have. I just hope it happens.
Thanks dear for visiting and good wishes.

There are so many of us in this same situation. I feel bad for you. I hope that you can find someone who could be that special friend that you need. I have actually decided to join Ashley Madison.com to try to find a close loving friend. At first, I felt kind of guilty about it. Like I was doing something wrong or immoral. But then I looked at it from a larger picture and I see that I deserve love, affection, intimacy, and someone to share life with. I am worthy of that. I dont have to be lonely anymore. I know logically that it is OK for me to be happy and to want to give love to another person and receive that love in return. There are just too many lonely souls out there.
But, I still feel a tiny bit guilty. Maybe it's how I was raised. I don't know. But I am going to get passed that guilt and I am going to find a person I can connect with and have fun being with. Life really is too short not to love and we were not put here to suffer. So, I am going to find someone who will love being with me.
I hope that you can find that also. It breaks my heart to read about another who is in the pain of lonliness because I am there also and have been there for a very long time. I wish the best for you and I hope you can find all the love, joy, and closeness that you seek.

You have to find what works for you, but Ashley Madison is not somewhere you will find what I want. It's all about no strings attached sex, and that's not what I'm talking about. I mean a true friend. Good luck to you anyways.

Yeah, you are probably right. Although, I have found some women on there that are looking for true love and not just sex. Personnally, I am looking for my True Soulmate, so I am looking elswhere besides Ashley Madison. There is one sight specifically for Soulmates. Either way, it's like you say, we all have to do what works for us. I sincerely hope that you find what you are looking for. I don't like to see anyone lonely.

Thanks, but I'm not actively looking. I never have. With me, either it comes along or it does not, so I leave it to destiny or whatever one calls it. It's been more than 20-years of sheer loneliness....except for a few precious months this year....but if that's the way it is, then that's the way it is.

What I just read
brought fresh tears to my eyes...
It's like asking myself,
"Would you rather die from being beaten to death, or starved to death?"
both suck
joyinthejourney, clg

I just saw your reply, cigsassy. I don't come on here very often now. Just wanted to say that you make a good point. It does suck...very much.

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