Is This A Phase?

I am 27 my wife is 24 and we have been married for just over a year.
We previously lived together for 2 years before getting married, in that time I did notice that she had a bad temper and believed that she would grow out of it/tried not to think about it.
I did have an opportunity to leave her for another woman who was my ex, she and I had been talking over social media and admitted that we had feelings for each other but in the end I chose to stay and get married, I did not dicuss this with my fiancee.
The first year was great, affection real love and getting on very well together.
On honeymoon we both decided to start trying for a baby, and within 4 months she was pregnant. All the way through the pregnancy we were like peas in a pod, no real problems.
Since the baby has come and I have gone back to work she is a different person, she is not reasonable any more.
I've been on the net for a few hours now trying to just find out what is going on, one website wreckons she is emotionally abusive, I think thats a bit strong but she does do some of the things described.
The question I am posing is, is this normal? Do you get shoved in the corner with no say on anything and cold shouldered as part of the post natal process?
I understand and agree that the child should come first before my needs, but should this extend to being shut off from your wife constantly critisised for things that I genuinely believe I shouldn't have known about/don't really think I have done wrong?
Your comments/experiences of this would be greatly appreciated
whereisitgoingwrong whereisitgoingwrong
1 Response Dec 9, 2012

You should probably steer clear of me... LOL!
Yes, in a way this is "normal." Look inside and see how your own feelings changed with parenthood... Not everyone feels different, some never notice anything, others like me, wow, it hit me like an express bus that didn't stop. My wife changed a lot too, and we did have a shaky start as new parents but the love between us helped keep it from getting "edgy." Then there was a medical scare for her, and she turned into a monster. It was subtle at first, then an acute stage, which we worked through as much as possible, but in the long run she was consumed by the totally different set of emotions.
After becoming a parent, many changes take place - a woman's body chemistry is often altered, sometimes permanently. Post-natal depression is not a simple thing, it sometimes varies from severe but short-lived, to a long, slow burn. There are also the emotional changes coming from parenthood.
All of these changes are totally natural, and when they destabilize a relationship it can really be put to the test. With some luck and empathy and anchoring to each other though you're bound to get through it if you don't let it get out of control.
Don't treat it as a phase, though. It might be. Or it might be a permanent change. Take all steps needed to adjust to it, do so proactively and be sure you get her involvement. Get in touch with how you've changed too. You may not have, you may have changed a lot.
It can also lubricate the process if you consider inside what makes you a good father, and work on that with enthusiasm.