Life In The Men's Room

I'm going to try to lighten up a little with this one.

I've often joked that the one thing I really hate about being male is having to use the Men's Room. It sometimes triggers a fun debate, and being an opponent of blatant misandry in our culture it also creates an interesting environment for dialog. All in good clean fun, forgive the expression.

And I'm sure regardless of gender, you'll probably agree with my opinion of that little air-freshener machine. I think it's lame. This tiny box with some kind of chemical potpourri that usually smells like strawberries or something to make the air in a public restroom more pleasant. I hate it. I don't want to walk into a public restroom and smell strawberries, especially if the air is otherwise unbreathable. It causes me to associate a pleasant aroma with another that's deeply unpleasant. It smells to me like someone has taken a dump in a strawberry patch - which is no better and encourages me to hate strawberries.

This morning, I realized that's why I hate my marriage so much.

I posted a couple of stories while I was still raw with pain from having fights with The Demon. Over the weekend, The Demon must have realized she went way too far with me, and since The Demon feels no regret, she tried to erase it by acting all sweet, pretending to be the woman I fell in olove with once upon a time. But I'm no longer being fooled. On Saturday night we were attending a birthday party my daughter was invited to, we're friends with the guest of honor's mother, and had a nice evening. This followed our marching in a parade with her as chaperrones to her Girl Scout troop.
The birthday party included a movie for the kids. During the movie, she invited me to sit next to her, and when I did, she started to snuggle against me, with me thinking "how dare you(!)" - she never apologized for her behavior the last two days in a row. Then she turned and kissed me, which she basically NEVER does. I knew it was The Demon trying to "erase" or "mask" the stench of hate between us.

Which is why my marriage reminds me of a public restroom. She was turning on the little air freshener box that smells like strawberries, trying to erase the stench of hate from the prior two days, and it did little more than remind me of someone taking a **** in a strawberry patch, which makes me no more interested in either the public restroom or the strawberries.
TheVerticalMan TheVerticalMan
41-45, M
1 Response Dec 10, 2012

wow that is nice dear

It still goes on, too. She came to me for intimacy a couple of nights ago... and it was nice and all that but she never showed any regret for torturing me two days in a row just a few days prior... so even though it was nice, it also felt like she's just trying to "erase" the hard feelings. The last several times we had an encounter I wound up being left alone again afterward and felt quite empty and used. This time and the time before it I was just as sad, but really because I know I have to do what I'm planning to, which is to end it once the deadline passes. I did agree to let her try to demonstrate her word is real, and that she does still have these feelings for me, but at this point it's too lilttle, too late and I'm not buying it.

so sorry to hear that my dear good friend but remember never lost hope and also remember to pray to God okay...

Indeed. These days I pray to have the strength to put us all out of my misery. Leaving things as they are is no more good for her or my daughter than it is for me. Love is immortal and very strong so it's the toughest choice I ever made to do this, because it's going to hurt everyone. But... we're all having our happiness drained because of the way things are now.

It is very difficult, and these kind of decisions affect everyone. We all deserve to be happy! I hope you find some happiness! :-)

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