Life Lost And Wondering

I'm a 40 year old male been married for 10 years been with my wife for 17 years. To me it all started after easter this year I drive truck and was given a job that almost tripled my income . I was pretty much gone till mid September came home and felt like a stranger in the home that much time gone I could understand this feeling. Then one day I was going threw the phone bill and found out that my wife had been texting with a boy (21) in about 4 months 2000 texts so I did blow up I had not a clue this started a chain reaction of events that she states that she loves me but not in love with me. has been ben feeling this way for about 2 years blah blah says that there was nothing sexual between them I do believe that but now we need to reconnect but I feel that she is not emotionally reachable I'm I just wasting time or can we reconnect
confusedhusband143 confusedhusband143
36-40, M
3 Responses Dec 11, 2012

i am so sorry......i hope that you find what you are looking for

I never understood this whole "I love you but I'm not in love with you" thing. That's beside the point. Your wife claims she's felt like this for two years. Obviously, she needs to work on her communications skills. That, or, she's just trying to come up with excuses for her behavior.

I presume she's somewhere around your age. Having a 21 yo man interested in a woman her age is an ego booster. That is, if you want to be used as a sex toy.

Can you reconnect? Maybe. How that can change depends on whether she's willing to open up and honestly communicate or not.

Ask yourself some questions:
What do you WANT to do, reconnect, or give up?
Why?
Can you still trust her enough if you want to stay?
Is how she feels about you, by what she said: loving you but not in love, is that going to feed your heart?
Do you have the courage to make the RIGHT choice, and not just the easy choice, or the risky choice?
What does SHE need if you want to stay... and can you give her that in return for risking your love for her?