Said In Anger

My husband and I have been fighting a lot. He says some really awful things during the fights and never apologizes. Are these his true feelings?
Lightenup2013 Lightenup2013
41-45, F
9 Responses Jan 6, 2013

My wife did that for years. It often seems like a fught to the death is required just to validate my feelings... Then another fight to the death to admit wrongdoing... And yet another fight to the death to get any sign of regret.

Eventually I had to assume she DOES mean all those awful things she says. In two days I'm announcing to her that I'm leaving. This is just one of several critical grievances.

This happens everytime we have a fight. Which recently has been once a week at least. He rarely apologizes and when he does, I don't feel like he really gets it. You cannot undo the pain. We have been together 22sometine years....married 17.

Lots of times things are said in anger that you don't really mean to tell the person but if you really take a look at it those things are on his mind so i would say they are pretty true!! Does this happen all the time and has he ever said i'm sorry for anything? How long have you two been married?

Most of the time it is him calling me names. Everything from fraud, fake, stupid to every curse word. He also tells me to shut up and puts his hand up whilr I am talking. I don't do this to him. I know how badly words hurt and that you can never take them back! Sad....just sad...

<p>People stay stupid things in arguments, and most of the time, regret it afterward. I told my wife FU the other day, and regretted it almost immediately. I did apologize. She was being an idiot at the moment, but still, it was wrong to say it as a FU instead of a FI (it)...</P><br />
<p>We've been fighting a lot lately, too, so sometimes this stuff is said to blow off steam, and other times it's meant to inflict harm. Only you know which it is... Use the gift that God gave you to perceive what he is saying vs what he really means.</P><br />
<p>I wish you well. It's tough out there!</P>

Most likely.

I often wonder the same thing.....
Sometimes i think it's a defence strategy...........coming from a place of pain.
Other times i think it's the truth , that has come from the brain and the mouth didn't have time to filter it !!!!!

If he never apologizes he has no respect for you.

Having said it at all show a lack of respect.

like what type of stuuf=