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He's Concerned Why I'm Not Happy.

We have two beautiful children. Things were really getting better. He stopped flipping chairs, yelling at me and making threats. Drinking less. Then there was a stopping point. He came home today and told me he is concerned about me. Why am I not happy. He says that he knows that I love him..like a lover. But, do I? Maybe? I just am so ugh! In limbo.

I've always felt like I wasn't the only one. Since we've been married he's been in contact off and on with his x. Today, and this is not the first time, I found cookies on my computer for one of those adult hook up/online dating sites. All along I feel like he's been unfaithful to me. I'm not the person I used to be..and I blame him for that and myself for getting involved with him.

Things were getting better, but now.. now, I'm just not sure that it's good enough.
experiencingnow experiencingnow 26-30, F 3 Responses Jan 19, 2013

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Oh, and some things are SO non-negotiable! If there is any indication of abuse, take the kids and run. You don't want children to grow up thinking that abusive relationships are normal!

Time to lay all the cards on the table. Make it clear. You deserve better. The children deserve better. There is no such thing as being fairly faithful. No gray areas in fidelity. If he loves you, he has to be willing to deal with whatever is keeping him from fully committing. Everything has to be in the open, so you can work through the challenges as a couple.

Sounds like an unhealthy and unloyal relationship. You are unhappy because you know deep inside that this isn't the life you want. Just find the courage and leave instead of torturing yourself by staying. It might be a tough decision because there are children involved but enough is enough. You're happiness and the well being of your children is priority. Stop wasting time blaming yourself when you already know nothing Is going to change.

Thank you so much for your comment.