A Long Wait

She walks into the classroom a breath of fresh air
Armed with her arsonal of notes, index cards, enthusiasm and smile
She conquers the world of exams and quizzes
She arrests the thoughts of desperation and the spoken negativity from those who are trying to keep up
With friendly encouragement and offering to help them study
If she keeps busy with school, she can ignore a man who only sees her when he wants to ***
If she studies until the hours have flown by, she can ignore words that cut deeper than surgical instruments
If she consumes herself with anatomy and physiology, she can forget that she is here alone within the four walls of their home.
They believe that she is smart.
They love her energy and her stories about her kids.
They admire her dedication
But blind are they to the real motive.
Yes, she loves to help people and she loves the field of medicine
But she longs to help herself.
She longs to be free from the late nights, the phone calls, the ***********.
She longs to be free from feeling like she's been raped as does "his business" and climbs off.
She longs for the companionship, the friendship, the touch, the love of a man that only has eyes for her.
Ten days closer to her goal...graduation seems like a light at the end of a very long and lonely tunnel.
Oh, will December ever come?
b4realz b4realz
31-35, F
1 Response Jan 21, 2013

It will come sooner than you know, keep your head up and just remember you motive. He has no idea, and soon enough you will be able to throw the words go to H*** at him and tell him to pack up and go. Then you will feel all the heavy weight pinning you down these past few months float away. While you're at school, meet as many people as you can so that they might become connections for you later on for job searching, support, etc. Take care stay strong.