I Think Im Headed For A Divorce?

I have been with my husband for 17 years,(18) in April. He works out of state alot! He is in Chicago working right now. Hes been gone almost a month and all he has done is cuss me and accuse me of all sorts of things. He has rules that I am to follow,but he doesnt have to. Im not allowed to have friends or go any where. He is so mean to me lately and I just dont know how much more I can put up with. I try my hardest to be good and I am really,but I dont know what else to do to get him to be nice to me and stop cussing me and accusing me of things. I dont want to get a divorce but maybe he wants one and thats why hes doing this to me? I am all alone and Im serious when I say I have no friends. I dont have any one to talk to or turn too. He made me cry so bad tonight.I really felt like my heart broke. He isnt nice at all and I dont even know why i care about him,he makes me wish i was dead or he was and I hate feeling like that. No one should make some one that miserable. Im scared to be with out him,and im scared of it financially too. He makes me hate myself. I hate myself. Im pathetic.
bonz33 bonz33
31-35, F
Jan 29, 2013