My Story

I was 18 when I met my husband and we married 6 months later. The first couple of years had their ups and downs but I was happy. A lot had to do with the fact that I "escaped" my life at home. He listened ,accepted me for me and was my rock. As the years went by everything that first drew me to him was fading. I feel as if he doesn't care to listen. There is a lot of stress in our lives but I feel our relationship has been put on the back burner by him. There are more important things to worry about he tells me.
He always seems preoccupied. I feel as if I am walking on eggshells around him not to **** him off. When he gets into one of his moods he completely shuts down. I live with a stranger for the next couple of days until finally I put my pride aside and come to him while he should be coming to me. We don't share any intimacy. He doesn't tell me he loves me, he doesn't show me. When I surprise him with a hug or kiss he seems annoyed. Example: The other day he was cleaning the dishes...I put my arms around him and he did not respond. When I asked why he was being so cold he said "don't you see I'm busy". Urghhh, that gets me so aggravated! Passion is completely gone. Friendship is gone. I don't do what to do.
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3 Responses Feb 9, 2013

Can he perform??? I have kinda the same situation but My husband suffers from depression, he is not an affectionate person but used to show a few acts of love toward me but it has ALL stopped. Don't know what to do. But he cannot perform. Doctors don't seem to know how to help him. I feel like if he could get that back he would be better toward me. Im just sooooo hurt all the time and dnt want to leave, would upset our grandchildren too bad. I love him so much but if he doesn't start showing me something I don't know what Im gonna do...........

"Example: The other day he was cleaning the dishes...I put my arms around him and he did not respond."

Sorry to hear your story...

Absolutely love walking up behind my partner and wrapping my arms around them. Think some of my most memorable moments are from hugging or being hugged. It's what I miss the most about being alone, that type of physical contact. He should feel blessed. :)

Girl, don't you understand why Guys like football? Theres a huddle where the coach tells you what to do and then you run the play - and some of the time it doesn't go to the coach's plan. You gotta signal him of your intentions before laying on the expectations, surprise works very rarely, and be prepared for the play to not go the way you think it will. Try to get an understanding of what he's wrestling with and offer to help in extremely small ways; e.g., "I see you have been struggling with that assignment the boss gave you yesterday. Its been 4 hours, why don't you let me take your mind off of it for a short while. Then you can attack the problem refreshed?" A good man will wake up and realize he has a good woman by his side.

Alot of men will not see how good their woman is until she has left. My husband is the same way. I have suggested speaking with a counselor. Of course, that was a no.