we are married for last 20 yrs. my wife has superiority complex and i am an introvert. she enjoys insulting me in front of my children and relatives, she is a good orator and don't hesitate in telling lies. she has spread all wrong about me to my relatives and friends. she has even brain washed my children with the help of her sister and succeeded in making them hate me, my efforts to convince them into believing me has failed. she quarreled with most of my relatives and made them stop visiting my home and keeping any communication. Earlier I could not make out all her behaviors and plans. Now I realize how slowly she cutoff all my relations with friends and relatives and now trying in making me surrender all my properties and wealth to her and be her slave. I am very lonely in my social and family life, I need advice and help to overcome my loneliness.
abren abren
56-60, M
4 Responses Aug 18, 2014

Same thing is happening to me but I'm female. We have been married for almost 29 years. He no longer sleeps in our bed but on the coach with the tv blaring. He comes home every day, eats, and then falls asleep on the sofa. I bother him if I try to talk to him. He also has caused distance between my family and I. The collects and collects and collects. We have 2 corvettes that have never been taken out of the garage. He has a storage shed, the downstairs part of his office and a room upstairs in our house collecting God knows what. The things that I ask for from Katrina are never located. He doesn't listen when I speak, he doesn't always tell me the truth, He never pays our bills on time. Makes promises that he doesn't keep. I feel like I was only one of his collectibles as I was our high school homecoming queen. He's got me but after 2 kids, me putting him through law school and deacon school, I know that I am not his first priority. This is not how my life was suppose to be. We have no communication.

Renee....you sound like a beautiful person. I'm sorry to hear your pain. You deserve better. Very similar situation for me with the wife. Thank you for sharing.

Go get a young babe!!

I think you need to talk to a lawyer, ASAP! Protect your assets. She sounds like a horrible person.

I realise I'm probably regarded as too young to reply to this. Sorry about that. Your marriage and everything your wife has done to make your life lonely and difficult really saddens me. It sounds horrible and very difficult for you to live with.
I'm from quite a large family - seven in total, five kids plus parents - and I tell you this. No matter what anyone said, I could not hate my father. I don't think anyone quite could. Not your kids either. What's happening to you, happened to my grandparents, but the other way around. He had superiority complex, and she was a bit introverted and almost like his slave. I never connected with my grandfather. He was vain and just didn't care. My grandmother though, I loved. She was kind, calm and it felt like she cared. Of course. I don't remember her much as she died more than ten years ago, but still.
Everything might sound hopeless to you, but there will always be people there for you. I don't know how many friends my grandmother had, but remembering her funeral, I expect she did have quite a few. She also wanted to stay faithful to her marriage, even when my grandfather didn't.
I dislike my grandfather a lot for how he manipulate people around him to get what he wanted. But I still can't quite say that I hate him.
From your story, it doesn't sound like you're the one in wrong. Your wife is manipulating you and the people around you.
I imagine it can be very difficult to turn your situation around. Maybe trying to stand up for yourself? Tell your wife no. Tell your family she's the one lying. Tell her you dislike the way she's treating you, it not okay. Don't let her take anything from you. Keep your savings and properties. They're yours, not hers.
Loneliness is horrible. It eats you up. My best friend is someone I talk to online. Maybe that could be a good idea for you? Also, contacting siblings, relatives, childhood friends, and asking them out for a coffee or drink could help. They've known you all your life, and will likely be able to detect the lies. Jut be yourself.

I wish you all the best of luck. Sorry if I wasn't any help.

I think you gave some great advice. You sound very wise beyond your years.

Thank you.