Im also military wife. I just had a baby two months ago so while I was pregnant my lonileness I thought was my husband getting used to being home to a pregnant wife after serving 6 months in Afghanistan. He seems distant and uninterested in me. We haven't had sex in what seems like a year to me. It just really confuses me how excited a guy gets when a female says she can have sex all the time. But with me and my husband I get nothing. I read that he might be stressed with work and not want to have sex. We've been together almost 3yrs and married almost 2 (anniversary in Nov) I just feel that im too young to be feeling like I'm in my 50s. I was fit before pregnancy so im down tomy nnormal shape except my breast are bigger. I've asked him to have sex and all he'd do is give me excuses. Im tired of asking and all I can think about is sex so ever time I see a male that's what im thinking about.
mrsTPC mrsTPC
22-25, F
3 Responses Aug 18, 2014

I am retired from military army... three girls here.. add me if you want to talk

Have u considered he has ptsd! Give him time....maybe counseling but don't desert him yet.

I know what he does is dangerous but while he was away he would tell me things so I was under the impression that things would be different when he got home but no. I know he wasn't used to me having a huge pregnant belly because I was only two months along when he left. It's just that he was telling me one thing and now that he's home its like he never left. I communicate as much as I can and that eventually leads to an argument even though I try not to sound like im attacking him. He tells me he loves me all the time but he doesn't show it so to me his words mean very little. Maybe im just a difficult wife.

He doesn't want counseling. I think it is a cultural thing or that it beats down his ego.

Give him time. He will come around...maybe try and get his attention by wearing something sexy or take him out to something he likes.

I guess I'll try wearing sexy stuff. The last time I did was when we were just boyfriend girlfriend and the whole thing got awkward. I'm under the impression that he doesn't like going out in public with me. I might be exaggerating but he gets more excited when his friends suggest the same activities than when I do. For example a trip to the beach or going to the movies. We live in a small town so not much to choose from but I've even gotten involved with his mlm company just to have something in common to talk to him about but nothing! He talks to those people more than he talks to me. Also I don't mind him spending time with his friends or guys night. But I do feel a certain way that he's with them at work al day then want to have dinner and a movie with them while I stay home with our son. First few times were fine but now I'm feeling left oit. Before our child I would go out to eat or to the movies alone because he didn't want to go with me.

I am sorry to hear that.
Have you actually sat down with him and explained what you are feeling and missing?

I haven't sat down and talked. I have brought things up and told him how I felt about different things but it always turns into an argument. He'd get defensive so now I just keep everything to mymyself to avoid sounding like im nagging.

Thats too bad. Maybe write a letter...

That's a really good idea!

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Help by giving me advice on how to get attention from my husband