This Is Not What a Marriage Should Be Like.

I am 28 and I feel like I have already wasted my entire life. I have been married for 7 years now. I realize now that the biggest problem is just that we got married too young and have grown completely apart. Well I feel I have grown up but he has not. He will not communicate with me like an adult. He puts too much into his friends and he smokes weed which I think is so juvenile. He does not show me love, lies and hides things from me and just treats me like crap most of the time. I can not speak without getting yelled at. Every time I try and tell him how I feel I am nagging or bitching and the truth is we have two children already and I am pregnant with our third and I am just trying to make it work. I am at the point where it is $h!t or get off the pot. Lets make it work or give it up. I want so much more for my life and my children. I am barely starting my education because I know I want a better life and this is the best way to achieve it. I do not know if I should leave him now or "use" him as I feel he as used me. A big part of me wants to stay so that I can finish my degree and have a job so my children and I do not have to struggle, but then I feel that is wrong and women struggle everyday. I just know this is not the way a marriage should be and need to make a decision. WOO that felt so good to get some of that out. I could go on and on!!

notmylife notmylife
36-40, F
5 Responses Mar 3, 2009

LOL it is so crazy to sit here and read this today....I SMH head and say wow I really am stupid! How did I forget all this when it got "good" for a while. I have finally filed for a divorce and man Am I glad I came back to this sight again. Just a reminded that yes this is been going on for years and its not me and yes I should have left then.......

Don't be too hard on yourself, or hard at all on what you have done in the past... what you need to do is get help for the future... <br />
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Damn this is so worrisome ... he needs to do what he said he had done... and that is quit.

I know. As I watching him, how should I say, get younger as I get older, I am so glad I do not smoke. I wonder how could I have been so damn dumb. I did however leave him when my child was two, heres where I messed up, and got back with him he said he had quite, stupid again, and I did not want my child to be an only child, but did not want to have multiple fathers for my kids. So needless to say 6 years later I am here miserable and its all my fault!!

If he continues to smoke week he'll never know... anything!<br />
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I think you should plan on finishing your degree and then get out. But TELL HIM that you're planning that and give him a last chance to straighten up. That way you won't have to feel that you used him or that he wasn't warned. And, who knows, he just might get the idea. That's not likely, but you won't feel okay unless you give him every chance.<br />
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Then, when the day comes to go, GET OUT and don't look back.<br />
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That'll be 5 cents, please.