I have posted on this site previously.....thank you for all the help and advise!

I really need someone to give me some advise and tell me like it is......

I just had my baby two weeks ago...a girl. she spend one week in was very hard for me. We found out she has a heart murmer and a hole in her heart that they think will fix itself in time. She is home now and is doing great!!

I am in a time in my life right now where I need my husband support and understanding but all we have done is fight. We both are under alot of stress with the baby, both of us have been laid off and he also has a child support obligation that is weighing on his mind. If you read any of my previous posts we have had a rough patch and Im received advise from everyone which I am thankful. We have gotten in a few arguments in the past two weeks but this last one is the most hurtful yet.

The fight started by me making a comment because he was concerned about his child support-I asked if that was the only thing he was concerned about because we have so much going on that everything is of concern right now. I wasnt trying to start a fight. We ended up with another extreme evening. He stated to me that our relationship had been over for a long time-I didn't feel that way, obviously he did. During the course of the argument He also stated that "WE" should have never happened and that if we were dating and not married we wouldn't be together. He also stated during the night that he was worn out and tired of arguing and that he wanted a divorce. This was not something I expected. He is tired of me calling him when he leaves the house, he is tired of me questioning him, etc. He stated that his marriage with his ex wife was more peaceful that our relationship. He also stated that if it took him seeing someone else to leave the relationship he would.

More things were said and the argument progressed untill I finally broke down and fell apart and told him whats been bothering me and why I have been overly upset lately. He held me and told me that we will make things work and that he was sorry. The next day he said he didnt want to loose me and that he loved me.

I dont know what to think, why would he say all of those things and put me through that? Does he really want out of this relationship and just doesnt want to be the one to do it?What should I do. The stuff he said hurt and I dont know how to take any of it. Im scared and afraid for myself, my daughter and newborn baby. What should I do and why did he say that stuff? Did he mean it or was it something else? Please help...

jc5273 jc5273
36-40, F
3 Responses Mar 14, 2009

JC what happened between your husband and his ex before they divorced? Was it amical between the two, or did she file for the divorce? I'm getting the impression with what he said and compared you with his ex, just tells me that he hadn't let go of her as of yet. I'm truly sorry that you had to take that kind of hurtfull remark. I'm a dad of 6 girls and I remember how things were being a new father, with all the excitment and also the cocerns of what do I do now? If you wish, add me to your circle and I will do the same, perhaps I ight be able to shed some light on this and perhaps ease your concerns. It also sounds like your husband is in a big panic and the only way he knew how to release the steam was to lash out on you, unfortuntely you were inline of fire. doesn't make it right. As for what he wants, it sounds like he wants to bale but is afraid to because of what it would compound onto his earlier obligations. And thats just it, his obligation shold be to you and the baby primarley. Everything else should be second.

people say things out of anger.. Especially if they think that you are hurting them they want to hurt you really bad. the only thing that I can tell you (and I think you are already doing it) is to talk to him,-

A few years ago I had an arguement with my mom. I was angry, I called her all sort of bad names. The next day I felt bad for saying what I did. I love my mom and don't know what I do without her. Sometimes emotions can lead you to do things you later regret.