Thinking About Asking For a Divorce -but I Dont Want Too,..

As from my previous posts you know all my husband and I do is fight...

I cant take it anymore. I love him more than anything, but now im in an even more state of confusion and I dont know if I should continue this anymore.

I recently had a baby, she is a month old today, and I fearful for our future right now. During my pregnancy we had horrible fights mostly from the stress of him going through a divorce and all the games she was playing and his kids who are adults not taking the whole divorce process well..they all have this thought that because he is divorcing their mother, then he is also divorcing them...they are all in their 30's with the exception of one.

Its been very stressful but I stood by him, even though I was being slandered by his kids and him when he was angry..I seemed to take the brunt of all stress....which took a toll on my self esteem and everything else.

Im not very good when it comes to the stress of a relationship. If we were to go through some life threatening event-I would be there to solve it no questions asked and handle all the stress that comes with it.

For some reason, when it comes to our relationship Im lost as to what is the right way to handle something or how I should even feel. I've come to the conclusion, or maybe its just my way of reasoning, that I love him & he means more to me than any other man I have been with, why else would I be so fustrated and unreasonable?

In my past when things got difficult I left and didnt look back, regardless of what was happening at that time. But this man...I cant..I cannot imagine my life without him in it and that scares me more than anything else I have ever dealt with in my life. I have never loved but yet been so fustrated and angry with someone in my entire life...I feel like I cannot ever do anything right by him I feel now that he is looking for a reason to leave but doesnt know how.

Our fight again last night is because of me...Its all my fault. I ask too many questions and I take the answer and if it makes no sense to me...I question that. That is the biggest issue we have..I dont know what to do I get so fustrated. I ask him something and sometimes it takes me asking multiple times just to get an answer and he complains that I ask too much but if he would have ansered the first time....I wouldnt have asked a dozen and by that time Im so fustrated Im questioning whether the answer is honest or something just to shut me up.

Last night this was the fight and he said he had enough...all we do is fight and he cant do it anymore. I realize I ask way too many questions and Im not easy to deal with but I do not understand why that would be a reason to end a marriage. He told me last night I was a ***** and he wanted to get a divorce and wanted us over with. I was hurt so the argument esculated why forget all the good things and just pays attention to the negative. After fighting for hours.....we went to bed and for awhile he still said he didn't want to do this anymore and wanted to move out but a little latter he said he loved me and didnt want to end it and wanted our marriage to work. Why does he go there and states that we are over if he truely doesnt want that or does he just want out and I need to end it?

I begged him to work through stuff with me. He wasnt interested and then out of nowhere he doesnt want to end it? I told him again this morning that I didnt want to lose him but if he wanted to leave I wouldn't stand in his way and he said that wasnt what he wanted. Im confused.

I dont want to lose him but how am I supposed to be in a relationship that if something upsets me I cannot say anything about it, even if it doesnt matter to him, how am I supposed to not let things bother me. If I question him & get upset I will lose him..what do I do? Do I need to make the first move and just divorce him?

 

 

jc5273 jc5273
36-40, F
3 Responses Mar 27, 2009

By sharing here I believe you are reaching out for help. Why not suggest counselling to your husband and with him or without him force yourself to get opinions from a trained professional. Should financial considerations threaten to forestall taking action be assured there are nonprofit agencies in every community in the U.S.<br />
For the sake of your child, your husband and most importantly yourself, hide your pride and get outside help and advice.

then why did he marry me? why has he allowed this to happen?<br />
Why does he ask for a divorce then change his mind?

You situation is so similar to mine. I get what you are saying and feel the same way. If you cannot answer a question the first time it is asked it most likely is not true. That is what I found with my hb. I have to agree with leafwindblown, It does not sound like you had him, nor me with mine for that matter.