I Am Married But Lonely
My wife goes for a week a month being nice and loving. Then the rest she is distant. We might have sex a couple of times the first week. Several if we go out of town. We are both 46. Married for 11 years. I come after ...in order....our oldest (daughter).....her father, her mother, her business, her hobby ( which is the same as her business), her sister then comes myself or our son. She has increased her flirting over the years and recently I found out that she has had hidden e-mail accounts and keeps in contact with several old boyfriends. I know she has NEVER cheated on me. She loves to be the "star" of a room. I run part of the businesses and she has her shop. They are all tied together. Thing is the way they are financed if we divorced there would be some left but thing would so drastically change for me. She would try and keep our son even though she has very little to do with him. I have been with my companies for so long going back out into the job market could be a huge mistake. He father is rich and would make sure in a court case she stood head and shoulders above the rest. For some of the time things are really great. I do love her. If however I ask her not to do something then I am controlling and jealous of everyone. I recently asked her to sit with me in church. She has been in the choir for over 7 years and I am so tired of being by myself. I thought maybe she might atleast talk about it. No way. She is so mad. She just went nuts. She will never do it. I told her there is nothing that I do that I would not gladly give up inorder to spend time with her. She said I was sick. Divorce is something I don't believe in and until out businesses are paid for financially it would be a ruin......esp. on my part. It would break my son's heart.
She can be so wonderful but her priorities are so messed up. She is never wrong and refusses to look at things from someone elses view point.
I just want some love. My heart is breaking. I was told to get a hobby like golf. Her dad has played for years and used it to get away from his wife and 2 daughters whenever he wanted. Well he used "getting away" to have atleast 3 or 4 affairs. I am not like that. I had ...... well tons of sex when single....maybe to much, I wonder if it effects me now. I was single until I was 34, did 4 colleges and liked to play the field.
I work out 4 or 5 times a week, running and lifting. I am tan and for 46 I think I still look pretty fair. I know I am not ugly.....heck I am good looking! I dress well and take care in the area of my apperance and hygeine. I have class and speak well. Don't judge me by any misspelled words here. lol......Where is that spell check button?
Some attention would go so far. My heart is shrinking everyday.
