So Tired of Being Unhappy

I just wish I could start over and find happiness again. Having to pretend to like it when he touches me is really starting to get to me. I feel disgusting. I need to find a way to leave him because I can't live like this anymore. I'm depressed all the time. I don't want to be alone but it's better than being with the wrong person. I can't keep lying. I know my family will be devastated but I've had enough. My mom said I could come home to stay if I needed but I don't know if she meant that or not. I truly hope she did. Of course moving back in with my parents is so going to SUCK!

HurricaneLeia HurricaneLeia
26-30, F
12 Responses Aug 18, 2009

I am married and i don't feel loved or payed attention to in my relationship.all because he had a accident that could have killed him i thought it would change our relationship. But it didn't always bringing past up and i am depressed all the time

I understand how you feel. I hope you find happiness and joy.. and LOVE!

I want to leave my husband too. I have given it my all and it does not seem to be enough. I am so tired that I do not know what to do anymore. between work and school and raising our daughter my life is so complicated and he is not even supportive of me.. it is so hard that I do not know what to do anymore. I just don't. I just needed to get that out because I do not have anyone to talk too right now....

oh! that's a great torment to be touched by someone you dont feel like touching you...i hope you can move on and find a real happiness...

Wow, you guys sound like me. I've been married since 2000, but have been with my current husband since 1992 - going on 20 years now. He's not a bad person, we just don't get along very well and truth be told, we never have. Our sex life is almost nonexistent, and I was diagnosed with cancer last year and had to have some major surgery to save my life. Unfortunately, this surgery has left me pretty badly scarred on my upper body. Our sex life dwindled even more after that. I can get plastic surgery & reconstruction, but at 44, I don't really have the money for that and we had problems even before - so why bother. Another technicality has come up, though. <br />
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I've become interested in someone else (and I think he 's interested in me, I'm not sure). He's a lot more like my personality type than my husband is, but I've had to distance myself because A., I've never cheated on my husband in all this time, and don't want to start now, and B., there's the scarring left over from the surgery. As long as I'm dressed, I'm OK-looking I guess (so I've been told), but I can see the scarring being a problem with someone new as well. So, I feel doomed, trapped in this marriage and am extremely depressed. On top of it all, my husband is well-loved by all our family and friends, and if I left, I'd be seen as the "evil one" and a large number of people would hate me. I'd probably have to leave town. I want a chance with this new person, though, and I'm afraid of letting an opportunity slip by. I'm not getting any younger, either. <br />
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Don't know what to do.

If it isn't working now, wasting time is just that wasting time. After over 20 years of marriage and several children, I know that it doesn't get better. Talking doesn't change it, working on it doesn't change it. People are who they are. The only thing that you are doing by staying is wasting time that you will NEVER get back. Good luck.

i cannot offer any advice since i am compltely disillusioned by this marriage bs this is twice for me i left my first husband i was married for 5 yrs and had 2 daughters (1 and 3) he cheated and i left.<br />
i remarried quickly scared to fail and having to return t my ex was an option i did not want. My current husband and i have been married for 10 yrs and after trying to please him in everyway and getting nothing in return. i want out i want my freedom i want to make up for lost time. But unlike others i am not repulsed and enjoy our sex life. which is alive and well. we participated in ********** due to his insistance and to please him i did. im not sure if my reason for leaving is for revenge, but i no longer take our marriage seriously and have thought about being unfaithful.<br />
of course we have talked at length about of this he is sorry and regrets everything and wants to work oo our marriage i want my space, i think that if i have my space we may end up together eventually the attraction is still there. im confused ughhhhh but definately want my space that i know

Wow you sound like me

Sweety, please dont lie. It sounds like you are in a position where you need to have a long, long talk with your husband. Does he even know how you feel? Have you told him how serious this is? Have you given him the chance to change and be a better man? Maybe you have, but as a husband myself I want to... well.. beg you to give him one last chance to make things better. I have read alot of responses that say, "You are better off on your own" and if you are in a marriage that truly repulses you then there is a little bit of truth to that, however, separations and divorces are CATASTROPHIC. If your husband cares for you at all, then he will care about keeping your marriage together. If he doesnt listen to you, then find someone he will listen to and make them play the middle man. Your husband NEEDS to know how you feel and what you are planning. Your husband cannot be a better man if he doesnt know whats wrong. Give him a chance... talk to him.

I guess some of us are in the same situation. I am on my way out !!! I also have two kids and just waiting for my son to leave for college, once he is gone i am leaving the next week. I have already have a plan ,I refuse to live in this life any longer. I have always been a social women, and now i feel like i am changing into someone that i don't even know, it is to the point to where he makes my stomach crawl. Sex YUCK!!!! he turns me completely off, I am not sexually attractive to him anymore and i am just over the whole marriage title, It just not for me, some women praise to be married, beleive me hunie it is not all crapped up to be what people really think it is. If you found your soul mate, you will know what true love is, I know that i am not in love with my husband and i know that we will never be able to work out this marriage, I have lost interest in him..I can't stand his GUTS!!!!

Just realize that beginnings are hard. What you need to develop is resolve. You have only one life, and it's blowing by fast. If you truly feel as you say, you must get out. Your feelings will ultimately consume you. I can talk the talk, but, so far, I cannot walk the walk. You see, I, too, am in a miserable relationship with 3 kids. Currently, I want out so badly that I don't know what to do with myself. Certailnly, I, like you, am afraid of the beginning. And remember, time waits for no one. Truly, I wish you the best. D

It's a really tough call and only you can do it for you. After 18 years I threw in the towel and move out and filed for divorce. Make sure you are ready and plan it out well because he will try to get you to stay.

Being alone and living with your parents is a hell of a lot better then being with some one that is making you feel terrible and depressed.