I Am Married To Scrooge

Hi, I have been married for over 12 years, but I have been with him for 17 years. I have 2 children and they are the joy of my life but I feel utterly alone as all my husband is interested in is working and saving money. I cannot remember the last gift he ever bought me. We are not rich but we do ok and according to him we cannot afford anything. I have to buy all the groceries, clothes and anything else that is needed and I earn a third of what he makes. He does not give me money and he does not give me affection. We can go months at a time without making love and I'm only 33, and when we do it is only for his benefit. I know for a fact that he watches **** on the computer and that really hurts as sometimes I also watch it as I figure if I can't get any I watch someone else.

I have had many talks with him and he never yells at me or anything but he just lets me say my piece smiles at me and does nothing about it. I am so heart broken as I feel that I do not deserve anything, so I'm at least grateful that my kids show me that they love me, but it isn't enough.

My DH works 7 days a week and he is tired when he is at home, but if any of his buddies call him for a game of squash he gets this sudden rush of energy and hops to it. He will find time for what he wants but none for me. I am getting really worried lately as I have increased my alcohol consumption to numb the pain, I also tend to binge and purge alot just to fill the void that I feel.

I have no intention of leaving my husband as I feel that I have to ride it out and I come from a broken family and I don't want to do that to my kids, and since we hardly ever fight I don't think we are doing any damage to them as we are very effectionate with the kids.

I guess all I need is to let off some steam once in a while and to know that I am not losing my mind.

mrsscrooge mrsscrooge
31-35, F
3 Responses Dec 27, 2009

I know what you mean..... I find that there are lots of people feeling the same as you... I am one of them. I totally understand how divorce still isn't an option. You aren't alone. I'm here if you want to chat.

You don't sound happy. Move on, he isn't into you or making you happy. It shouldn't be this way and it doesn't have to be. You can be happy but he doesn't want the same thing.

could he be stressed at work ? <br />
Worried about losing his job ? <br />
Falling behind in the corporate rate-race ? <br />
Or, just low on essential Vitamin B - that is easy to fix.<br />
You still seem to have a good relationship, so it is worth ttrying to make him open up and share his concerns. Any extra weight ? High blood sugar ? These can also kill sexual desire. <br />
Anyway, I hope next year will be better for you and hubby.