Charity Begins With The Heart And Home

 I share you feelings of loneliness on a different note, its not so much that we don't love one aother, rather the reverse. I work alot of hours trying to keep my family going. My wife does her best to keep the household alive and running. I fell inlove with my wife the day we met and I know she feels the same way and shares that with me time to time when I'm down and out. in your situation a person has to crawl before they walk and that goes for most everything in life. In order to receive one has to learn to give. thats mine and my wife's beleifs. try and remeber how and why you two fell inlove in the first place, I'm a firm beleiver that marriage is the most sacread thing in life and should be cherished no matter what unless it becomes so unhealthy and dangerous. we have a holiday comming up on Monday and my wife asked that I don't work on that day and spend time with the family and shes right. I need to stop and see what I really have to appreciate the things I try to keep going. The important thing is, don't give up on yourself and appreciate the things you do have in life because a family must go on no matter what. Email me if you want to read more                 Dale

redtailfree48 redtailfree48
46-50, M
18 Responses Jan 13, 2010

often times it seems we get so wrapped up in trying to make our lives better that we miss living it..... When it comes down to it, humans have few basic needs... food, water, shelter, and love. Enjoy your holiday sweetie and always remember what's most important. xo

that post is over 3 years old divorced two years ago,

:( I'm really sorry to hear that, but hope that you're still finding time to appreciate the little things in life & love. Best wishes to you sweetie. xo

Wonderful deep thoughts a joy to read thankyou!
I wish my partner realised what u realised and would spend time with us. Not only when I ask and prompt him but think about these things on his own. When he finally does take those long weekend public holiday Mondays off with us though, they are a nightmare, he sleeps most of the time (I know he's tired becoz he works hard) and then finds it hard to put up with us.
It's a shame when people don't realise what they have till it's too late.

Nicely said and I agree.

Encouraging advice.please write more.i liked your article.

Lonelymom add me as your friend if you wish. I wrote a long page letter in your message then to find that you only axcept from friends. Its another chapter to this and had hoped you would be able to read it

I read your original post and was so happy and encouraged to see someone genuinely working on being happy in their marriage. Then I started reading some responses, and I guess I'm correct in assuming it didn't work out for you? I am truly sorry. My husband and I are in counseling. I am trying to stay optimistic That he isn't just going through the motions, and genuinely wants to help repair our broken marriage. I guess only time will tell. The saddest part is he had no idea it was broken until I told him. I hope you have found happiness in your life now!

That commitment shattered when she gave up on me 5 years ago, she knows it. She refused to seek medical attention and she turned her back on me. So where does the vow lie? In my lap?

nothing is perfect in this world. I believe in the sanctity of marriage. If you cannot commit to your spouse anymore, at least you should still be committed to the vow you made and not to have an act of sacrilege against the church and of God.

thank you for the coment destiny, it comes from living a wild life when I was younger and learned along the way

As time passes, we are reminded of our past by the people we have shared out lives with. We are given this rare opportunity to also see that what was told to us is true. You have to ask yourself why have I waited so long to make my decission? Out of rubble, there is peace of mind.

That's a great message.

I feel your pain truly, it pains me to think that there are people out there that get that special person in there lives and has no idea. You have support here that I can promise you. My friends in my circle are great people and I think I can speak for them in saying that you are not alone and we will take the time for you in any way we can. My friends are very special to me and I know that if I ever needed a shoulder or there time, it is given.

Its hard some times when the other is so emotionally bankrupt. It takes great courage to say that this is it. I deserve better. Now I'm assuming that where your husband is concerned, its either pick yourself up and listen to whats being said or theres the door. Its unfortunate that I see you have so much love to offer yet its not reciprocated. I know eventually when somthing doesn't work and you have exausted all of your options, perhaps its time to move on with your life because you are being dragged in and down. If there is no action to this situation then it will consume you in the sorst weay.

Not every marriage is perfect, actually I can't think of a one. The point is you need to take stalk in what you have and if it isn't somting you been wanting, then perhaps the other person should be reminded, some times whether its a man or woman, we don't go intop relationships knowing how to give, we learn on the way. If the situation doesn't change then its time to take a good look at whatever options you do have

i think that if one person refuses to change the other cannot change it. if there is no common building blocks in the relationship it will fall. hard. and i think somewhere along the way kungfuchics husband decided he didnt need that corner stone and she was building on top of a tilting tower. it dosent work like that.

I'm commenting on kungfuchic's response to my response. I think we need to see what we want in life is realistic, don't get me wrong, its right in what you feel, but some times the m,ost important things we want may be a little too out of reach. What you need is not so much a hand out but a hand up. I respect what you wrote, don't stop perhaps we can talk more on this and maybe find some answeres to your questions

Your philosophy is admirable and a great one. Unfortunately, it does not always apply and love isn't always reciprocated. I don't consider myself an exception to any rule. I was a positive, loving, giving wife. I had certainn beliefs and standards about how a wife should treat the man she loves.<br />
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My husband was too closed off and too angry and resentful (whether at me or at himself) to give back. In the real world any relationship doesn't work, when only one person is pulling 100%.

This is a response to the young lady who felt that she is in a relationship that is a give on one side and I wanted to share with her that most of us feel the same even in the best of situations. I was reminded that its not so important to think about the things you don't have but what you have now. It depends on how you see things in life. I'm not a couselor, just some one who has grown through the years with the support and love from my wife and family. Take stock in what you can offer and see what you will recieve in return, you'll be suprised

When two people enter a relationship they should always be theirselves with each other from the begining until the end and not just be the person that they feel that that the one they are with wants them to be that way you can each get to truly know and love each other for the person that you truly are.Giving and receiving is often talked about when it comes to relationships but few people truly know how to give and receive in the purest form .You should never give anything to someone that you truly do not wish to give them .Once you give it to them then you should never resent it .You should never feel resentment or keep score of what you give or how much you give .The receiver will receive it and when they are ready to give then they give to you.Never give to receive .