Crushed And Confused
I recently got the "I love you, but I am not in love with you" crap My husband has been acting hateful towards me for quite some time, but a few months ago I finally got that information out of him. Oooh lucky me, just what I wanted to hear after being married for almost 12years.
We were both in very different places in our relationship, and it really shocked me. We have gone through a really hard several years, and I thought that the outside drama (health issues, and caring for our elderly grandmas) was behind us. I decided to go back to school a few years ago, so I have been only working several different jobs to fill in between school. The $$ thing has been a huge problem, because I have been home raising my daughter (in between taking care of grandmas and working) for the last 5 years. I finally was able to get my schedule under control and get it to where I was finally home more with my family. I was sooo happy to be home more with my family. Unfortunately, I think me being home more only got in the way of my husbands time alone with the computer
Ok, I guess I am getting off topic. I guess I am here because I don't know what to do after someone tells you that? Can you really ever get past that? He has never apologized for telling me that, because it is all my fault??? He is pretty much sticking to his story. Yet, has the balls to act like he is trying to be nice. In fact, he even tells me that he has put the effort into sitting with me to eat dinner, and that he is being nice?? Seriously, do I want someone who has to put effort into spending time with me, or has to try to be nice?
My relationship has completely changed, and I have never been so hurt or confused. I am pretty positive he has been carrying on with another woman, or women on the computer, but he completely denies it. I have found things on his computer that don't make sense for someone who is only playing video games all night. I am not sure if he has been physical with anyone, but I am certain that he has been at least getting his ego stroked online, and probably on the phone.
Lately, I haven't seen him on his computer as much, but he likes to stay up until early morning hours relaxing? He hasn't acted so hateful towards me in a few weeks, which is nice I guess. Yet, I am here looking for people to talk to because my husband certainly won't. I have been lonely for most of the years I have been married because he would rather be playing on his computer then spending time with me. I have put up with it because I thought he was genuinely a good guy, and that he loved me. Now, things have totally changed and I am at a huge loss