Married But Bored And Lonely

my husband and i have been married for 21 years.  he works is permanent job and extra such as capentry, which are long hours away from home.  at first it did not bothers me as i was busy raising our two children.  my husband then joined a pentecostal church, and stop participating in any activities such as going to the cinema, dancing and eating out.  at present he works, comes home. eat dinner and up to the bedroom to study his bible.  it as left me feeling unlove,lonely, bored and my outlet is work...............................................help.

goldfran goldfran
36-40, F
9 Responses Feb 7, 2010

the Pentacostal church is about the closest thing to the first of the Protestant splits from the Catholic church, The Hugenougts in Switzerland and France, the British dour puritans, The Scotish Calvanists all feed into this off shot. Myself I am so sick of my father and wife thumping on their bibles claiming that since I don't believe the way they do about the churches they attend, ( MY father Church of Christ) ( My wife episcople) Yet my wife has had the affairs and my father set several of them up. I have never had an affair, always paid my wife's way through life. The only career she ever had was as a topless dancer. I of course worked when she was doing this and the only things I was hearing was whispers, The poor guy has no clue. I had many clues.
You have the same outlet I did, WORK, I would see guys go to bed with another mans wife, or vice versa, then they would come thumping on their bible ( always the King James version) screaming because I always felt that a book made by a committee ( the council if Nicea) that there were to many political interests involved in all of it creating dogma. goldfran I feel so sorry that a spouse has fallen into this trap, I wish you luck! I hope your life survives this brainwashing of your husband.

Have you tried www.marriedbutbored.co.uk ?

I have a somewhat similar situation. Did you try talking to him and telling him how you feel? Always try that first and see what he says.

You need to tell him you appreciate the fact he is a good father and husband as well as a God fearing man but his responsibility is to satisfy you...the bible says "and for this CAUSE a man shall leave his father and mother and CLEAVE unto his WIFE and they shall become ONE flesh" so remind him he needs to fulfill you and since there isn't going to be ******* in heaven...you need all of it here!

Greetings! As an absolute gentleman I truly wish you'd add me as a friend as we have mutual interests! I really look forward to sharing and exploring! Thanks! Dirk42

It's your life. You get one chance only so it's time to ask yourself some serious questions. Then, when you think you have some answers, ask him. If work and church are his favorite things it sounds as if you are already on the back burner but if you would prefer to share new experiences with him, look him in the eye and say so. Worst case scenario, he makes is clear you are destined to a barren sex life void of adventure. Best case scenario, it makes his **** stiff. Expect something in-between but in the end..find happiness for yourself. As Jackson Browne said, "in the end there is one dance you do alone."

Hey Goldfran, I do feel for you. It's not a nice situation to be in especially now that the kids have grown up a little and you have time for each other. If he's turning quite religious then dont think things will improve much on the sexual side.<br />
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In which case try and satisfy your needs discreetly outside the marriage.

Hey, welcome to my world! My wife has no interest in me personally or physically. M 48 London.

Wish there was something I could say to help all I know to do is talk to him tell how you feel ask if something is wrong