I Do Not Know What To Do.

Me and my wife been married for two years now but together for eight. It seem like everything was going good at first but now things is so diffirent. While i was going over seas she e-mail me and told me she cheat on me but she really did not know it tell her sister told her. She said she was drinking and one thing lead to another but she told the boy the stop but he did not. Now this happen aging with the same person and the same way she said but not at my house. It was at her sister's place.  She told me that since i been back i have not act the same toward her or her kids. This all happen in 03. the cheating and my trip over seas. So for the past 7 years not she said i just now been right or treat her the same before left.  Now i cheat on her to hurt her like she did me but this was in 04. Now 6 years later and it feel like thing the same even after have two kids together and getting married in 07. Well about two months ago she tell me that she is feed up with me not treating her the same way and things need to change. I  let her know how much she hurt me back then and i'm sorry for what i have did and the way i feel now. So things have been better for me but now for her as i see. She been have guys calling  the house from her past and saying they just talk about me and her problmes we having. now she got a cell phone and they stop calling the house after i started to pike up the phone. they talk on the cell phone. She tell me i'm worrying about the wrong thing and should worry  about the marriage. Well i have and now here i'm feeling lonely and do not know what to do. if anybody could tell me anything i will listen. please i love her and i need help.

kkal31 kkal31
31-35, M
2 Responses Feb 19, 2010

I happen to think for the most part therapy is a crock but for some they say it helps so try it if you dont have to pay for it..The other guy is right the past needs to stay just there in the past..stop throwing it in each others faces or you both wont get any where.I would absolutely put your fist down about her talking to other men period it will eventually lead to something not good and you know that. Its just not right to have another man or woman in the equation period..tell her it ends now and mean it..If she wont stop then you'll have to make the decision of what to do next..Allow her to walk on you like that or divorce her..I dont see another solution. Its sweet that you do love her and want it to work just dont count on it totally going your way..Maybe Ive just read to many others peoples lives go down the toilet but usually once adultry has entered the picture your in a no win situation no matter how hard you try..I'll wish ya luck anyway..

As a man, do the responsible thing and make her go to councelling with you. At counceling, bring up the present setuation, not the past. Seem that you are hung up on the past. Without both effort, take your money, belongings and leave the house for two months. Would be great to leave with the kids, because that forces her to shape up and fly right, big daddy is home.