Love Is Hard

I have been married now for 8 years, and to this day intimacy is still an ongoing problem.  From a womans perpesctive I realize that we are not haveing sex and some times I really want to but I always have something else to do.  My husband is a good man, he can say some hurtful things and give me a look that makes you feel like the scum of the earth.  We have been having this issue but it seems as if he is getting to the point where he is done.  I really do miss him, we dont talk or hang out.  When ever we are in the room together you can cut the tension with a knife.  I really need a friend and he is not there for me that way.  I feel like i am not the only one who is not intimate, sometimes I just want to cuddle or a hug but I dont get it, hell somtimes Icant even get a good kiss.  Maybe I would be in the mood for sex more if I felt some romance.  But I am expected to just be this person that I am not because you saw something on tv.  Perhaps I should just stop thinking about what I am not getting and just do my wifely duty to please my husband.  Which I should but I am so sad all the time its hard to fake it.  I cry so much.  I am truly not happy with the overall relashionship, we have a lot of baggage from the past mainly my fault.  I should deal with it and get over it.  Maybe becasuse I caused so much damage during the beginning of our marriage I should just be happy that he is still with me.  I am trying to push my feelings aside but it is easier said than done.   

nogoodwoman nogoodwoman
26-30, F
3 Responses Mar 7, 2010