Confused And Needs Help

I just dont know what to do anymore. I have been in this on again off again relationship for years now.We were living together, but about a year ago after a very heated arguement i ended up moving out. Me and my two kids moved in with my mother. For the first three months i would not even talk to by ex outside of him seeing our childern.In this period i did talk to other guys but none in a sexual manner. Well about three months after moving out and not talking to him i gave in and decided to just hear what he had to say. A few more months pass and we decide that maybe we can work through our problems and start talking and spending time together. He finds out about the guys that i had talked to while we were apart and got mad. He said that because we were still married and just seperated then it is just like cheating

Fast forward a couple more months and that puts us at present day.We are still trying to work though are problems while living at separte houses. Today out of no where i get a text that says he feels as though i am talking to someone else. Is he ever going to be able to get over what he considered cheating??

Was it really cheating in the first place since we wernt even together??
Should we even be trying, sometimes i feel as though he will never be able to get over me talking to other guys while we where apart
lostandconfused34 lostandconfused34
5 Responses Dec 10, 2012

I think he is trying to guilt you into being with him ... you are brave to make the move away from him, still try to resist the curiousity to talk again, is he the father of your children ?

This is difficult to weigh upon as there's always only one side of the story presented, and as someone going through a separation myself, I am trying desperately to NOT put my wife down to anyone.

My impression is that he distrusts you. You left him, took the kids with you, and then after months apart admit to interest in other men. Defining "cheating" is irrelevant. It is the hurt of lost trust and his world being thrown into upheaval that really has him upset.

I am also separated currently, and the most difficult part about making it work is living apart, and limiting your time together. I'm sure he's not innocent in all of this, but healing and forgiveness cannot take place when you're constantly distancing yourself from your spouse, and reverting to all the hurt of the past.

no it's not cheating,,,he is pushing you into another mans arms ,from being so jealous and possessive,controlling you,taking away your freedom to be you,,,talking to another guy may be a good thing in your case,,

well ...he is ill.

you can't fix him babe.

best you stay far far away. were not unfaithful.

yes. ...he is controlling and obsessive.

maybe....he is messing with your mind, your thoughts.

by any chance is he an alcoholic ...or work addict ?

Everyone says that he is controlling, and yes he is a work addict. In the begging i thought it was going to be so simple to just walk away from him but i turns out that it is harder than what i thought.