This Is A Classic Example Of "married, Lonely And Craving..."

My wife is not a monster. She is not evil. But she is terribly messed up and in her world of a huge pile of mentally debilitating s*** she has brought on herself, one of the things that crops up in her life almost every day is paranoia. She's paranoid about me and my kids. Yes, she even thinks the kids are after her! No, I'm not making this up.

I just wanted to say that to make sure I got the point across first that this whole thing is not just "my opinion" if you know what I mean.

Anyway... A classic example of feeling "I am Married, lonely and crave intimacy:"

Yesterday (President's Day), I was in a car accident at about noon time. No, it wasn't my fault. I got hit, I was not "the hitter." Someone who (I am guessing) decided it was more important to text while driving as opposed to watch the traffic went through an intersection and hit me. I was driving a mid-sized SUV, the other driver was driving a huge Lincoln Navigator. Whacked me real good. I'm still feeling whacked..

After I got home after the accident and had talked to two insurance companies and made all those calls you make after a car accident, I started feeling really bad. Severe pain in my neck, the back of my neck, my shoulders, my arm, all over. If you've ever been in a car accident you know the feeling. My insurance company told me I really needed to get to an emergency room and get checked out to make sure I was OK, as in making sure nothing was broken and especially get my neck checked out.

My spouse wasn't at home, I am not really sure where she was. I called her on her cell phone. No answer. I called someone in my family who might know where she was. They didn't. Finally after about 3 calls I got through; I never found out where she was but when I told her I needed to go to the ER she acted like "I'll get there when I can." How f****** nice, huh!

After a while I borrowed my son's car and decided to take myself there. Just as I was pulling out of the driveway, she pulls in with a look like I ruined her freaking day. Yeah, she took me to the ER but she bitched the whole way about having to wait for me in the ER. Now understand I am very much a man and I am not a mama's boy, OK? But I am also very sensitive, kind (I try to be), and I'm not macho! I am not afraid to show my feelings. I started crying on the way to the ER, feeling like "what the f*** is this? Is this marriage so bad that she acts like I'm ruining her day because I have to go to the ER?"

The whole time in the hospital I just was blown away beyond comparison and on top of that I was feeling awful from the accident.

God! I am so married, lonely and craving intimacy! Actually to be more specific, I crave LOVE.... God my life is good in some ways but in other ways I am so screwed up! Is there a place I can order love, like an eBay love store or something? This is pathetic...
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18 Responses Feb 22, 2011

Oh wow! I often feel this way, my husband is not very caring when I am sick either. I had a kidney stone attack a while back and had to go to the ER, he told me off! When he is sick on the other hand, I am his full time nurse, how sad is that?

I unfortunately know how you feel and feel for you...wish I could reach out and give you a big hugg...

My wife has asked if the car was alright, and then bitched about me wrecking it , though it wasn't my fault.

Well..... I wouldnt even dard to call my husband if ı were in ur shoes. He would get sad for the car not to me !!! İn between my husband is a demon !!!! U are luckier than me ....

God will grant and help you half way, and you need to meet him half way also. I to was in a verbal relation ship till one day I ask the lord to give me the strenght to walk away. Before I did that I knew I was already on my way out of my marriage after four kids and no support from the worst half. I am not ashamed to say had affairs not with married men but, just a guy who made feel special. He was to young and told me he can not give me what I already have. Last straw was when he came home and told me when are you going to loose weight and find a better job. Then I told my self I was done. So I prayed asked for forgiveness sorry for being something that I know I was good at but, the ex just did not appreciate what he had. Found someone married second time love my kids dearly and I moved on. Be strong and the LORD will Grant your Wishes, he will and does help. Just have an open mind and make the right decisions and do not listen to what anyone tells you. I say go for it. Take Care. Deliciouse62.

What a wake up call!

Wow. That's really bad. Makes my story not seem so bad. It is though. Just not as blatant

Is she a narcissist? Sounds a little like my dad, who is.

Wow! My ex must be related to Your wife,I once suddenly had a bad dizzy spell and sudden numbness at work.My boss said i might be having a stroke.I called my Dear Heart,who told Me she was out with a friend(that meant She was drinking) My boss called 911.Yes,I was having a stroke.Thank God it was a small one.My then 25 yr old daughter spent the day at the hospital with Me.When The ex at last showed up drunk my
Daughter showed Her the nearest exit!

I love my Kids!

I am so sorry to hear your pain. So many of us have to deal with kind of crap and just run out of answers. I with you brother.

I am sorry she bitched about bringing you to the ER. That two times i had to take my husband to the ER I was not bitching about waiting in the waiting room how I was fighting with the nursing doctors to be with him every step of the way

It sounds like your accident woke you out of a state of emotional denial. I don't know your history, but I do know if you need accidents like that to wake you up, you are in actual danger. You know what you have to do, it is just VERY painful. But if you keep delaying, the next time you may not be so lucky. Stay awake.

I know how you must have felt. About 4 months before my wife told me she was leaving me, I was scheduled for a colonoscopy. My then wife said she could not take me , because she was taking a co-worker to the doctor for the same procedure. I guess I" not important enough to worry about.<br />
Life sucks and then you marry someone who sucks whats left out of that!

You're already divorced if that is her normal way of being. A marriage is a 100/100 proposition, not 50/50 like many seem to think. Sounds like yours is 100/0. That is not a partnership and borders on not even being a relationship. Living with a stranger who has even the basic modicum of concern for you as just another human being sounds like it would be a step up. If you don't get out of there, I hope you at least get a good dog. Remember that your happiness is your responsibility. If you don't pursue it then you wind up with what you deserve - nothing. How is she going to react when you need heart surgery in your declining years? Or aftercare when doing much of anything for yourself poses a threat to your life for a time? This wife of yours could literally become the death of you.

Awww, I teared up reading this. I don't know what the answer is for you but in the mean time. I can offer a *hug* and tell you how bad I feel that you are going through this. I hope you've recovered and maybe things are improving.

Im sorry, your wife sounds like a delusional narcisist. My sister is a narcisist, they are hard to love as they care only about themselves. It is rare for a narsicist to change because they have such high defense mechanisms for when people try to help them change. They are good about keeping people off of the point and around and around you go.... My boyfriends dad was with a crazy narcisist when I was in highschool I never understood how such a great man could end up with such an opposite woman. He settled in his old age and stopped searching for the true love passion he knew existed. I would suggest you work on making it financially possible for the two of you to go seperate ways. Honestly a man like you would be snatched up quickly in the world. My mom searched for a long time for a guy like you. Just dont be scared to put it out there. Dont spend the rest of your life waiting for someone to make you happy, go out into the world and take what is rightfully yours! But be gentle on kids wife family, because divorce is messy, hard and people tend to start blaming. Its really nobodys fault, the wife is selfish, if you dont like it then leave.... be more careful on who you select next. Watch out for selfish behaviour apparently its hard for you to spot at times... No big deal, we all have our weak spots :) good luck with whatever you choose....

She sounds mentally ill! Hello, she can't have any compassion on you after having been in an accident!! :(

she need to see a therpist. she sounds like she might have something medicaly wrong. ummm. hopfuly if you can get her to one....(might have a friend suggest it, not you) <br />
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good luck on this....