This Is A Classic Example Of "married, Lonely And Craving..."My wife is not a monster. She is not evil. But she is terribly messed up and in her world of a huge pile of mentally debilitating s*** she has brought on herself, one of the things that crops up in her life almost every day is paranoia. She's paranoid about me and my kids. Yes, she even thinks the kids are after her! No, I'm not making this up.
I just wanted to say that to make sure I got the point across first that this whole thing is not just "my opinion" if you know what I mean.
Anyway... A classic example of feeling "I am Married, lonely and crave intimacy:"
Yesterday (President's Day), I was in a car accident at about noon time. No, it wasn't my fault. I got hit, I was not "the hitter." Someone who (I am guessing) decided it was more important to text while driving as opposed to watch the traffic went through an intersection and hit me. I was driving a mid-sized SUV, the other driver was driving a huge Lincoln Navigator. Whacked me real good. I'm still feeling whacked..
After I got home after the accident and had talked to two insurance companies and made all those calls you make after a car accident, I started feeling really bad. Severe pain in my neck, the back of my neck, my shoulders, my arm, all over. If you've ever been in a car accident you know the feeling. My insurance company told me I really needed to get to an emergency room and get checked out to make sure I was OK, as in making sure nothing was broken and especially get my neck checked out.
My spouse wasn't at home, I am not really sure where she was. I called her on her cell phone. No answer. I called someone in my family who might know where she was. They didn't. Finally after about 3 calls I got through; I never found out where she was but when I told her I needed to go to the ER she acted like "I'll get there when I can." How f****** nice, huh!
After a while I borrowed my son's car and decided to take myself there. Just as I was pulling out of the driveway, she pulls in with a look like I ruined her freaking day. Yeah, she took me to the ER but she bitched the whole way about having to wait for me in the ER. Now understand I am very much a man and I am not a mama's boy, OK? But I am also very sensitive, kind (I try to be), and I'm not macho! I am not afraid to show my feelings. I started crying on the way to the ER, feeling like "what the f*** is this? Is this marriage so bad that she acts like I'm ruining her day because I have to go to the ER?"
The whole time in the hospital I just was blown away beyond comparison and on top of that I was feeling awful from the accident.
God! I am so married, lonely and craving intimacy! Actually to be more specific, I crave LOVE.... God my life is good in some ways but in other ways I am so screwed up! Is there a place I can order love, like an eBay love store or something? This is pathetic...