Tried Of Begging And Despartely Needing To Be Wanted.

I can totally relate to what you said about having to beg for sex from your husband. That's how I feel like my marriage is now: that we only have sex when I initiate it. The worst part is we've only been married for a little over a year. I don't know; I feel like I'm getting tired, too. We're young--we're supposed to be so full of passion and life and romance and yet, there is NOTHING anymore. It's like when we got married, everything died down, and now I have to content myself with lousy pecks on the cheek instead of the long, ardent kisses that I've been so desperately wanting.

I did loose myself I died, I had an appointment with my doctor on Friday and he said to me " I have been your doctor for 15 years and I have never seen you smile, to day I look at you and I can see the light of God in your eyes". I almost lost it. By walking away from the abuse I am not being forced to eat more than I needed to, I am not being forced to eat things I didn't want to and in 2.5 months I have lost 62 pounds. I feel like I have been released from prison out into a world I dont understand.

"Having to beg"....I hate that feeling but it is all too familiar....my sympathies.....

I understand I have been there myself . I won't tell you what to do but in my case I just had to move on and leave .

Same here for me.

same here, but she's the roommate.. i'd even say sister, as we get along and care for each other, but.... all the best skb102..

I'm sorry skb. I can relate.

I have said those very words to myself... I feel like we're room mates, we share nothing but the kids and the bills. Such a sad way to live. So glad I found EP. It's good to see the help and support people have for each other here.

God bless you Angel. May the Love find his Heart.

Sounds like my marriage. Im divorced now so I have the 20/20 hindsight.. I was not the person in my marriage to cheat... there is no coimg back after crossing the line.. your integrity is all you have. If you guys are not happy talk about it, go to counseling and do what you need to do .. cheating will not solve your problems.. there is a reason they call it cheating you know...can you live with yourself ?

I totally understand your situation, I myself've been living with my partner for 6 years and now, believe it or not we spend 2 or 3 weeks with no sex, even if I approach, she is either tired or stressed or you name it. Im certained she does not have a side kick, she is a very honest woman, but seems like she just doesnt need it as often and it is frustrating. Sorry that I dumped my load and didnt commet about your situation, but I just atempted to show you that we are not the only ones. Now if you ever decide to take move on somebody else, you need to make sure that you are in peace with your inner soul, forget about the society, which is full of bias and always tries to exert pressure on us. Its our own spirit we have to be in conjunction with and if you are and you find that other person then dont hesitate and do it lol, because we all are granted one life and its up to us how to live it. Sorry for my lonspeech, but it also helps me:) If you feel like talking back, please do so and I'll be glag to stay in touch with you. I wish you a very good luck!!!

So what did you end up doing? Where are you now? I certainly hope still married and much happier!

This is a good "thinking about an affair song". http://vimeo.com/5499612

Welcome to my world. I've been begging for years and tired of being last to everything! Well don't give up hope like I did and do something stupid like I did....... Now I pay with my life every day..... Intmacy is the biggest thing I carve. And I'm not talking about the bedroom. Just being best friends! I'm sure you have tried to get him into a marriage therapist?

I have the same experience as skb102, only I'm a man and my wife is my "roommate".

You know I've been around awhile,so I know what the word "Respect" means.Unlike some so-called men that are on here doing nothing but seeking out victims,to prey upon even more.I detest such obnoxious wussies.With thier putrid,invidious manners.Wish they would come down South,where we would gladly educate them on respect and manners toward a lady.skb102,I wish you the best of luck. Waymor

Hey darlin. I understand. I would love to talk and explore your needs and desires. No woman should feel unwanted.

Normally, I do respond to women about marriage problems. I understand, I really do. But, though I am 11 months late in answering, an affair will make you feel more empty. Contrary to some, people thrive in a relationship. Marriage is a special relational ship where each one is to serve the other. Your hubby is selfish

Sorry, but ask yourself why you need any other person's approval or attention to feel good about yourself, even if that person is a spouse? Fundamentally, your own sense of self worth needs to come from within, not because you are arrogant but because you realize you lead a moral, caring, productive life.



Do you want to feel good about yourself and at the same time better understand whom you truly are? Volunteer to help someone who genuinely needs assistance, such as those living at a hospice center, or physically or mentally disabled children. If you do this for a few months, you will quickly come to realize that you are truly are a special person and, frankly, the physical aspects of life really don't matter.

I too are like most of you here, I feel like everthing but the wife, but a few years back I did meet someone who is so special to me when you are with him he cuddles, kisses, loves tells you how special you are and when you are intimate with him it is like no else I know he is so awesome it is so easy to love him He is the greatest and most caring man i know.

when he kisses you you feel it all down to your feet It is thaten kiss only a few get to and all is I am tottally greatful and honored to experience his love and kindness I love you forever and Jane too

it has been for me also like a lot of people here have too much invested to divorce and no love or maby mutual understand of each others needs

i know how you feel wife and i live like room mates now kids grown just us and no sex im so bored and lonely i have desided to have an affair

Hugs and strength to you! look inside yourself, and find the woman who yearns to live. then be you, if that takes moving on, find the happiness you so richly deserve. don't waste the best years of your life away, your a beautiful person. I wish you all the best of luck.

That is sad that he never initiates because both should in a marriage.There isn't a lot I can say except the usual ideas like marriage counseling,talk to him about romantic getaways.Vacations that clearly indicate it is going to be romantic.That will tell if he is just completely emotionally dead on the inside.Of course he may not even want to go on a romantic vacation.I really feel for and hope you find some satisfying solution to what you're living through.Thanks for your story.

I meant to say... I remember to THANK her for every little thing she does.

The details of living can interfere with things that are much more important. I like steamy sex too (with my wife) but I always try to do something to let her know how much I care for her....like some spur-of-the-moment flowers, impromptu deep kisses, and/or sensual hugs...and just saying the words "I love you" mean a lot to her (though I have said it many times). I also remember to that her for every little thing she does for me. I know I am not the only man who likes to romance his wife. IMO, men usually get in return what they measure out. I hope you and the other ladies with similar experiences will enjoy romance again.

Hi Skb102,

Wow, I think many of us have shared this story. Just change a few words around, but in the end, it's always the same feelings. Loneliness, hurt, wanting to be desired, desperation.

I am starting to think all women end up lonely. How can all of us women be feeling the same, and be wrong or doing something wrong? It just can't be.

Well, think hard before you have an affair.

Good luck to you, and know that you are not alone, there are many of us out there :(

Hugs, Sam

I too have been married for 19 years - 20 this june - I am the male version of you with reguards to the relationship and marriage - I did have an affair 6 years ago, but after that we tried to fix what we have - it worked for awhile, but soon went back into the old routine of no sex and me feeling like she just doesn't want me - she blames the kids, lack of time, and many other things, but she runs marathons and has time for less important things - We all need to feel loved - if you are in a marriage and you are willing to give of yourself and compromise, you should be able to get the same in return. My wife recently went to Vegas with the girls - I was home working and transporting kids around. Doesn't seem fair - we only make love if she drinks socially 1st - she would deny this, but it is true - I have kept a log and we have not fooled around without alcohol in many years - each year we fool around less and less and i always have to initiate - No answers, just share your pain.

Have a gander at the I Live in A Sexless Marriage group here on EP. Might not always hear what you want to hear, but sadly it is a HUGE group with so many people, men & women of all ages that share this existence. Lots & lots of stories posted there & it is a priceless support group, as for whatever the reasons that you or I or any of us are in this situation, it is hard & it is lonely.

Thanks I will check iyt the website