Self-sacrifice, And Then What?It's been so long since I had any real intimacy, emotionally or sexually.
I crave it, so badly.
I want to spend hours talking to someone who can understand me and contribute to the conversation. I want to have sex with someone who ***** back. I am lonely, but I seem to be unable to take any steps towards finding someone.
I've had a couple opportunities, but I never pursued. I regret that. Honestly, I don't know that I am capable of having a physical affair. I am very curious though.
I am not living life as myself. There are so many things about who I am, and what I feel that I can not share with anyone in my life. I am very ready for a change, but I am stuck in the situation I am in for now.
I fantasize about being alone. How weird is that? I wonder about women I meet... what they think, how they behave, what they would be like tied up and carefully denied ****** for an hour.
I feel desperate, and chained by my own conscience.