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Enough Is Enough

i am misserable.i finally told him his morally insulting values,temporary or not,are somthing i cant be with,and the lying and abuse.ofcourse hes gonna try to backstep but thats fine cuz i really dont wanna solve this anymore,not for relationship/marraige purposes,i will stay till i find a place for me n my 3 children,since he will not leave my appartment,n i will b supportive,but i wont be his again or backed into this painful corner/emotional rollercoaster.i have alot of love and patience to give to somone,the fact that I'M giving up on somone means they dont want help or are unhelpable.none the less my kids plus my sanity need to come first and finally enough is enough!!!honestly just knowing im no longer responsible to this up/down crazy/hyper/comatose/sweet then mean/evil/smart/vindictive/cold person/confusing/hurtful/insensitive/womanizing/selfish/conseeded person is relieving on its own n i havnt even moved out yet.even the fact that the mom wit 3 young children whos 23 has to leave because the man whos 30 wit two older children that are at his x wifes most time,the guy without real responsibility will not leave,just makes me more possitive about leaving.what kind of person is this?i have full custudy of my kids,they have nowhere to go,but hes more important.youre suppose to put your children before yourself clearly this man will never love them as i do,that is clear.i am excited about having my life back.he keeps trying to talk to me like everythings fine,but again he isnt bothered by me being hurt,or our relationship ending,which though its a gd thing because i want it over,i just sit here thinking while he tries to small talk and i say nthing back...."is it any wonder why i dont want this soulless heartless egotystical man child anymore?his tantrums alone but the lack of caring,when i was giving him everything...its just enlightening.im so glad im getting out while i am young n my children are.to those women who have survived decades of this,you and your stories give me strength enough to leave,i am learning from what im reading about if you went back you wouldnt have done this again.i dont wanna be saying that in 20 or 30 years,in honor of you and myself i choose me seeing that its become clear this can be about only him forever,or i can live,truely live on my own,maybe someday when im over this...wit somone else.but i choose life
rachael23invermont rachael23invermont 22-25, F May 20, 2012

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