"you Always Blame Me For Everything! You Know I'm Under So Much Pressure! You Always Play The Victim! Are You Going To Cry Again?"My eyes filling up with tears, I can't help but cry and feel sorry. Sorry that I'm apparently wrong again and wrong for asking him a question. Yet again, he says he wants a divorce. Is he serious this time? He asks me where I will be moving....I talk myself through every bad day, making excuses for his behavior- his job, his family, the pressure he is under... I look at myself in the mirror and remind myself that I am a good person and I am not as selfish as he says that I am and things are always not my fault. Then I ask myself, is this normal? I've been in relationships before and was never spoken to like this or treated like this. I get yelled at like I just burned the house down when I forgot to take the trash out or put my shoes away or God forbid, try and have sex with him. He will push me away and complain how tired he is and shouldn't I know this and respect him? I grew up in a physically and sexually abusive home but things were never THIS crazy. I knew what to expect in my family's home. I knew when the lights were out what was coming. But around here, I don't know which way the wind will blow his attitude. He blew up at me in the ticket line at the movie theatre and left me standing there with two tickets and bless the poor high school kid's heart that was ripping tickets.. He didn't know what to do or say. He apologized for my man's behavior and said that I could find a nicer boyfriend to take me out on a date. I help my wedding finger up and cried harder as I walked to the customer service desk. I forgot to put my hair straightener away when I went out with my friends one night and he came home to find it cooling off on the dresser and in a rage sent me text messages of terrorism saying how I had disrespected him yet again and he was going to the hospital because he burned his hand on my iron (it wasn't plugged in). I came home to find our bathroom sink filled with water and the flat iron broken in half and submerged inside. This was AFTER I had to pick the locks to get in because he had locked me out.
AM I CRAZIER THAN HIM FOR DEALING WITH THIS STUFF??????
yogagirlly 26-30, F 4 Responses 1 Oct 20, 2012