Trying to Hold On

When I married my husband 4 years ago I thought he had major depressive disorder that was under medication.  I have a less severe case of depression so I thought I understood it.  As it turns out, he has been diagnosed since with bipolar type two disorder.  He can be very irritable and very sullen.  It has almost completely worn me down.  I'm trying to hang on in my marriage and I think he will work with me on it, but I'm not sure how capable he is to do so.  In any event, I need to figure out how to stay married (I love him and we have two small children) without feeling 1) like a martyr or 2) the intense emotional downers he brings into our marriage.  I just thought maybe this place could help.

MsMagnolia - I don't know what to tell you except that your safety and well-being and that of your children (if you have any) is most important.  I'm lucky because my husband admits his illness and takes his medication.  Please do what you must to take care of yourself. 
karenina karenina
41-45, F
3 Responses Nov 16, 2007

karenia,<br />
<br />
I wish you all the best. I know first hand that your situation is excruiating. I posted to things on here that I hope will help. One is simple strategies most important of which is to take CARE of yourself. <br />
The second was a book "Loving someone with Bipolar" which so far I find very helpful. i too love my husband, i just hate the violence. I pray we will find a way to address it and end it.<br />
Meanwhile you and I both have small children. Each has a 30% chance of getting bipolar. So, personally I want to learn all I can about strategies, support, etc. I have found a (depression bipolar support alliance) in my area. Hope you can too.<br />
<br />
All the best!

I have been married with a kind of bipolar by 4 years now, and today I knew that he is looking for someone to hurt, because he is resentful and he thinks that couple has to pay his bad feelings today. <br />
He is taking olanzapina or zyprexa by ASTRA Zeneca, but he never goes to the doctor. What should I do, if sometimes I feel that I love him so much, and at the same time I hate him, because I am so unhappy with those attitudes?

get out now. I have been married for 20 years to a clinically diagnosed unmedicated bi polar just to keep a family together. not worth it.