He Is 14 Years Older Than I Am

I am married to man 14 years older than me. He is an amazing guy. We share alot and have a wonderful relationship. I'm just so happy with him.
My grand mother always ses: "rather an old man's darling than a young man slave." She's right, I have never been as happy with anyone than i am with him. we've been together for 5 years now and it's been bliss. Yes we have our occasional disagreement, but that's just what it is.
Never upset with each other for long, have the most amazing emotional and sexual relationship.
Friendlybabe Friendlybabe
31-35, F
12 Responses May 25, 2010

Maybe my future wife is 10 atm, which is why I haven't found her! idk just thinking

Hi, I'm a little late with a response but I'm happy to have read the reviews of others. Please don't judge my situation, I only want to share so that others can learn from my experience. I'm 35 and my husband is 75 years old. We were married when I was 30 and he 70, but we started dating when I was 28 and he 68. It was great at first, we had a sex life and an active relationship. But, in the last 3 years we haven't had sex because he's unable to rise to the occasion. Plus, the marriage has deteriorated because of health issue he has. For example, he has hearing loss, so many times we would have disagreements because he doesn't hears me well. And, he refuses to get an hearing aid even though doctors told him that he needs it - he's just being cheap. Another one is, he wakes 4 to 5 times per night to use the bathroom because of a weak bladder. This interferes with my sleep so we now sleeps separate. I share these things because I want others to know of the challenges being with someone with such huge age differences bring.
While I see nothing wrong with marrying an older person, I think that the age group shouldn't exceed roughly 20 years. Even that maybe to wide.
I still love my husband and I am at his side doing whatever I can to support him but it's a challenge. Being 35 and not being able to have sex or go out and do stuff is frustrating. You see, since he loss his sex drive he has become very controlling and obsessive. He also displays some signs of dementia. He behaves like my father. He supervises my every move and complains if I'm just half hour late returning from work or school.
I've thought of a divorce but I feel a sense of guilt and obligation to him, like I'm supposed to take care of him because no one else will. Not only that, he once told me that he'll take his life if I ever tried to leave him and it would be my fault. And that i should make the sacrifice of not having sex and to be with him. I had to undergo therapy after he told me that. He didn't want to be part of the therapy sessions.
His 45 years old daughter and 43 years old son do not speak to him because they blame him for the death of their mother. Apparently my husband cheated on his decease wife a lot causing her great stress and as a result she fell ill and died. Long story there.
I don't want to have regrets but I sometimes wish I didn't marry him. At this point, I'm not sure what to do. I just finished my masters degree and I'm trying to focus more on my career, but my marriage situation weighs on me heavily. I am happy to read that most of you are experiencing a blissful relationship with your partner in spite of the age difference.

I am 18 years old and I've been dating the love of my life since I was 16 years old and today he's 31. 13 years apart. Honestly I love this man to pieces we go through arguments here and there but that doesn't take us apart. Its not easy dating someone with such a huge gap but when you work things out and talk about things to understand what she or him needs everything will work out just fine. We are planning on getting married soon. Hey your not the only one :)

I am 38 and I am currently dating a wonderful man who I adore and connect with that is going to be 53 in April. We have been talking about a future together and concerns we have about our age difference and the fact that I have 4 children youngest being almost 3. He would be 70 when she turns 18. I hate to think about life without him, but I can day dream all day about things we want to do and plan for but the reality of it seems to scare me. Health issues, sexual performance, Energy to keep up with the demands of the kids, etc. Anyone in this situation with advice?

I've been married to a wonderful guy for 17 yrs. He's 22 yrs m senior.I am just know noticing our differences. I'm only 40 And just know have started to realize how far apart we r in age I want to do things past 9 at night ... I love him he's a kind man but I feel trapped

Interesting reading. My best friend is seeing a 45 year old man, she is 26. I made the mistake of commenting on the age gap, ( he looks "old") and now she is mad at me. I'm unrelenting, how many times do you have to be mistaken for father and daughter, or do they wonder how things are when and if a child is born? How old is he at the 21st? Grrrrrrr it drives mr crazy.

I have experience of being married to an older man through my sister who has been married to him for 40 years, and I can honestly say that she is now feeling the age difference he is 15 years older than her and has gone into old age with a passion, he is 76 she is now 62. My sister has just retired from her job and he has been retired for 15 years. The trouble is now that he doesn't want to do anything and my sister wants to do a lot of things now that she is retired. Don't marry an older man!

I'm about to get married to a 35yr old man and am 20, he loves me with all his heart and I do too.....but I dont know how it'll be years from now. My peers are discouraging me but I feel that I need a mature person like him than a younger guy. What do you think??? I really need help

Bianca01 - I'm with a man who's 17 yrs my senior, and something he's made clear to me is the difference between 'need' and 'want'. If you marry your beloved, you shouldn't feel like you 'need' him, you should 'want him, 'desire' him. This is where the basis of your relationship should stem from, a mutual 'desire' to be with one another, not the 'need' to be completed or fulfilled by your spouse. You wouldn't marry a person you consider only a friend, so make sure that the desire and love is there and that you both understand what you want from the marriage - why are you getting married? What will this accomplish that being together unmarried won't? This is a decision only you can make, but it is one that hopefully will last the rest of your days. Good luck!

I am 15 years older than my beautiful wife. She was 30 when we married and we will be celebrating our 30th anniversary this coming February. Age is just a number. I have helped her in many ways and she has helped keep me feeling young. Perfect relationship. Sex has never been a problem. In fact we have never had any significant problems. Marrying a young partner is certainly no guarantee you will have a long lasting, happy marriage.

I am 27 years old and my husband is 35 years old,but he is not romantic,i met a 41years old guy who is married,but he looks young though but he makes me feel gud he is so romantic and flirts with me he is everything i want in a man,when i think of him i just get horney.I love my husband but he doesn't do the things that the other guy does.We haven't had sex yet but i could just imagine how is it going to be like,because when i come close to him he also get an erection,there is just a too much chemistry between us everything that i want in a relationship.He enjoys kissing and touching me and is always on my mind.

just because a man is older and gets an erection when you are close to him, it doesn't mean that he will be good in bed. My fiance and I haven't been having sex for several months and it makes me wonder if I should go out with someone else, just to feel wanted and needed and satisfied. However, would have to live with that decision and I know I can't live with having cheated on him. Can you live with that and also the consequences that it can bring. Any action you take has a consequence, just be ready for it.

I married my husband 25 years ago this year ,16 years different,s.between us .When he was 50 and me in my 30.s it was good .me in my 40s and him in his 60 ,the difference i ve found is too much ,its become obvious to me that as my father said .its best to be an old mans darling than a young mans fool ,But ive found that the age difference is too much and he wants me to fit in with his life and wont try to fit in with mine ,

happened to me too:

I thought that we would be the few that made it. He was 25 years older. Been together on and off for 22 years. The age range did not make much difference until the past few years.

Him 70 and me 44. I learned so many lessons to list. We remain friends but separated now. Never thought back when I was 22 and he was 48 that there would be issues.

Married him for love. Our age difference and the stages we are in life now are so different now.

He has become mean and bitter about his aging and angry of my youth. Never saw it coming. He once was so confident and nice. I trusted everything he once said only to find out the past few years much of it was never true.

Its easy to control someone younger until they get older like me now in my 40's not a little girl anymore who once had father issues.

Once you get past the father issues stages in life you want a partner not a father figure husband.

Long story but I would say anyone over 15 years age difference should not get married.

I am 33, and married a 32 older man when I was 25. I understand what you say. I think I have no longer daddy issue and want a men who see me as a woman. I gave up my sex desired, so I don't pressure him to have sex with me when I know he cant have a natural erection anymore. I do love him, but I don't know how long I will be until all my inner sex drive comes out. I wonder if he ask the same thing

I think alot women feel like they have to have a man in order to validate who they are. There is nothing wrong with just being single for a change. I am happily single and do not have to deal with no man's attitude or try and be something that he wants me to be or try and fit into his mole of what his age wants in a women. So to all of you Single ladies get out and enjoy your life and have fun :)

I so feel the same way

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Being married to an older man myself, 16 years my senior, I have found that I don't have to deal with with some of the things my peers go through. However, after 16 years of marriage I am beginning to worry about what life will be like as we age together. We are developmentally in different places. When we first got married this didn't seem as obvious to me as it does now. I find myself second guessing the fact that I married someone so much older than me.

My fiance is 17 years my senior. He is an amazing man, but I keep having thoughts of whether this is something for me. what is your advice for someone who is considering getting married to an older man. I realize that there are things I don't want to do with him that I would do with a younger man.Is it wrong to be so self conscious when we are in public setting.

Me too. My husband is 16 years my senior. We have been married over 4 years. I have now moved into another room because I just can't sleep with the snoring. There are other health issues and right now I am in prayer mode in hopes we can make it through these times. I do worry about getting older together because I am just 37 years old.

I sooooo hate to say it but, leave unless ur totally in. Love

Love waxes & wanes in relationships. Relationships require work.

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