A Few Challenges Now..

My husband & I just celebrated our 28th wedding anniversary. When we got married, I was almost 19 & he was 35. I was young with a great figure, he was strong and quite a babe ;) Now, we still have a pretty strong relationship,but I am seeing some challenges that I never anticipated.
Most of the time the age difference is not a problem at all. He is very young at heart, still in very good health and quite handsome with his graying hair. Now, we seem to be more separated in our age groups. He is of retirement age, is ready to slow down. When we spend time with friends, they are in his age category, not mine.
I am in my mid-forties, trying to keep my youth and looks, covering my gray! lol. I am needing more of his attention and he doesn't seem to have the need to give it so much.
I think sometimes of what it will be like in 10 years. He will be 73, I will be 56. I have to consider that I will probably be his care-giver someday. That's very sad to think about. I have to realize that, if our ages progress naturally, I will be without him someday. He has good genetics. His grandmother lived into her 90's and his mother is still living at 89. 
I suppose these are good reasons to enjoy life while we can, love each other fully and never forget to say 'I love you' at the end of each day.   
robono robono
3 Responses Aug 17, 2011

My husband is 17 yrs older ---- I am 35 and he is 53---- been married for 11 years now with 3 small children. I too have had these thoughts, constantly lately. And yes, the age gap seems to get wider and wider as the years pass----- I have been very depressed about this lately. Yes, so many unanticipated challenges. To make matters worse, he has chronic Lyme disease which has accelerated the aging process----- it just isn't fair and I am so worried and sick at the thought of him aging any more. Even though we have a wonderful, healthy marriage, I sometimes wonder if it was all a big mistake. It is heartbreaking to watch his health deteriorate as he has seemed to age so rapidly (due to the Lyme) over the past 3 or 4 years. It just really, really sucks. I am still so young and FEEL so young when standing next to him---- but at the same time, I feel so DEAD and like he is dragging me down. His failing health is a constant black cloud hovering and almost a mockery of my life-choices.

When I was dating my husband, I would have these huge fits of tears thinking of us getting older and him in particular being older than me. I still am very sad by the thought. We recently had one friend whose husband passed away at 83 and she was 58 and she said that it was sad but she would never go back to change her mind.

I have to try to remind myself of the same thing you realized. When ever that thought comes up, I tend to brush it off as if it will never happen. I thought of long term care insurance and also checked into it but he insist that he won't need it. Part of me would like to believe that but the other part of me is doing reality check.... Insurance is to protect you when you need it ... you can buy it after things happen...