Married Much Older Man - Mistake

I thought that we would be the few that made it.   He was 25 years older.  Been together on and off for 22 years.   The age range did  not make much difference until the past few years.  

Him 70 and me 44.   I learned so many lessons to list.    We remain friends but separated now.  Never thought back when I was 22 and he was 48 that there would be issues.

Married him for love.  Our age difference and the stages we are in life now are so different now.   

He has become mean and bitter about his aging and angry of my youth.   Never saw it coming.  He once was so confident and nice.  I trusted everything he once said only to find out the past few years much of it was never true.  

Its easy to control someone younger until they get older like me now in my 40's not a little girl anymore who once had father issues.

Once you get past the father issues stages in life you want a partner not a father figure husband.

Long story but I would say anyone over 15 years age difference should not get married.   

Just my opinion.  
traceycelest traceycelest
4 Responses Apr 6, 2012

My husband is 20 years my senior and the last few years have been a struggle. We have been married 12 years and have two beautiful children. We used to be great together and he was always rather young for his age. He started experiencing physical issues the last few years in terms of testosterone and erectile dysfunction. What a turn for the worse our relationship took. I just turned 40 and it was the worst birthday of my life. My self esteem has dropped significantly and I think it's because of our lack if intimacy. I always knew one day the age difference might present some challenges, I just thought it would be later and that he would be kinder and that our love would sustain any challenges. I never imagined he would be a grumpy older man and now I'm bitter for so much life I am forsaking. I am passionate and have so much to offer still, I am so sad. We still love each other and in our hearts want it to work but I am falling apart feeling so unfulfilled. I know he is devastated but the connection is not happening anymore and it goes beyond sex. It's ego, age, needs, dynamic, fear, trust and even some alcoholism on both of our parts trying to cope. What to do? The kids see the unhappiness now and I miss my husband.... He isn't there anymore and I am drowning in a nightmare. So anyway I feel your pain including the father issues. Are you staying with him?

I agree... I am married to a man 30 years older... basically it worked until I began to believe in myself.... still its hard and I need tons of moral support... I loved him... we have a child 11yearsold... one day in a fight my hubby said we should have devorced 12 years ago and that's why he choos retirment plan... so I get nothing if we devorce... I hate this... he is so angry... I didn't do any thing

I am about to marry the man of my dreams in 2 months. We dated for a year and a half before he proposed. He posesses every characteristic I have always wanted in a man. He is 25 years older. I am almost 32 and he is 57. We are stuck like glue and I couldn't be happier. The age gap doesn't matter. What matters is how healthy and highly functioning your relationship is! Our families are nothing but supportive of us and very happy for us.

Yes , you are right anything over 6 years is questionable .