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The Risk Is Worth Taking

I am married to someone who is 16 years older than myself, he is 71 and I am 55. We have been married for 13 years and lived together for 2 years before. I have never regretted marrying this marvelous person. He has humour, intelligence and sometimes extreme tolerance of my silly turns.
Our life together has not always been smooth. 4 Children, his, (I have none) have had their own share of sadness. One son diagnosed for 5 years as schizophrene and later bi polar (abandoned by his Mum) and another daughter beaten and abused.
We don't always see eye to eye, we don't always have the same opinions but we have always had a real complicity and a real warmth.
In celebration of older men, women, people experience!
Love, respect, and laughter
that is the secret.
I have also another friend who lost her husband last year; she has gone through the mourning of the illness (pancreatic cancer, with all it's horrid stages) and is now going through everything that involves reality) So I understand all those who feel who feel the fear of abandonment, I fear it too.
But the wealth of experience of a real love, regardless of age, the risk is worth taking
darlinges darlinges 51-55, F 3 Responses Apr 20, 2012

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nice to read some good stories about an older spouse or partner. My husband is 11 years older than me. I am 53 he will be 64 in June. He does try my patience and can be difficult at times. He has humor and is warm hearted deep down. I hate to be brutally honest but if left a Widow say 9 years from now I don't think I would mourn greatly. I certainly wouldn't want anything to happen now for it would mean financial ruin.

I am hoping he gets some treatment for his pain and he does at his age work very hard still. I worry about that for being a mechanic at his age isn't real good for him; yet that is another story. OH WELL JUST KEEP HOPING FOR THE BEST..

Thank you. I am 43 and my boyfriend is 60. He is the love of my life. It scares me to think that he will die way before me, but I think that is what keeps me/us so focused on enjoying every moment together.

Someone please help me,I am so depressed I do not know what to do.I am 52 yrs old and my husband is 70.we met 6 yrs in march at an oldies dance,the 1 St time we danced it was the weirdest feeling,like I am supposed to be with this guy.we started dating and he was such a gentleman.I was married to my high school sweetheart when I was 18 yrs old,I only had him as my husband and we were married for 25 yrs,when I came home and saw him in bed with my best friend.it was a very hard 25 yrs ,finances,drs bills,two children very sick,work full time and take care of everything else,spotless house,always cooked.my father was always an alcoholic and also hit me everyday.so that brings us up to date,3 yrs divorced is when I met my husband.I really never looked at older men and never wanted to get serious again,well I did fall in love again.I was so happy,I felt like a princess in a castle.he treated me like he loved me so much.we got married a yr after we met,I really thought hard about it,I thought he is 18 yrs older than me,what really could happen to us to make it hard.I thought maybe he couldn't make love to me anymore,ok,so what,that is fine,I love him and that is what vibrators are for.or maybe I would have to take care of him,that is fine,it is better or worse.I never really had a lot my whole life,so actually the way I live now is unbelievable to me.I could loose everything as long as we keep laughing and having fun,that is all I want ,I never really laughed a lot in my life.well,little by little this meanness kept coming out of him.like giving people things they need,I never asked him for anything,never,but he knew I am a giving person,if I see someone hurting I am going to help them,if I see a young girl without food or milk for her child,I am going to help them.he was married before 39 years his wife passed away from cancer in 2001.the stories he told me of her never loving him,and she hated sex,he was away all week because of his work and never spent time with his children or grandchildren.when he met me he knew how much my family meant to me,I come from a big Italian family,I have two wonderful sons and 5 grandchildren.they always treat him with respect.unlike his 3 sons and 2 grandchildren that treat me like ****.I have tried believe me I have tried.anyway,to make a long story short we argue constantly when my grandchildren are with me or if I am there.that is the only that makes me happy.he actually hates it when I am with my family,and he lies constantly,he never smiles anymore and when I try to talk to him he gets so mad and yells and walks out of the room.my mom and grandmother saw this hatred he has,thank goodness.everyone thinks I'm crazy when I comment,because all everyone says is,oh you have such a wonderful husband,he just loves that because he knows he has everyone snowed.all he thinks about is sex,believe me I love it,but,not when he is so hateful towards an innocent child I don't.I guess he doesnt understand why I m not like I used to me and just forget what he did or said and go back like nothing happened,it is like living with my mean dad again,just that he doesn't hit me.I can't talk to anyone ...does anyone have any suggestions?