20 Years Apart & Closer Than Ever!

I love my husband! He is quite an amazing individual. We enjoy every moment we have together and we both work very hard to ...in a way - make our relationship look easy.
Relationships are hard - they require dedication, long hours, patience and a great sense of humor. But for some reason no one seems able to say that.
They say if it is hard work then there is something wrong.
I think of it as - we both wanted this relationship because of our love for one another, why not do everything possible to make it work?
10 months out of the year - my husband is 20 years older than I am. The other 2 months - we're only 19 years apart. =)
I married him because I not only loved him, I liked him and that is a very big deal.
I enjoy his smile, jokes, the way he thinks very carefully before asking a question. He always does sweet things for me that are completely unexpected. He respects my opinion and asks for it frequently. He knows when to apologize and does it immediately. And he does everything in his power to make sure that I am taken care of, provided for and that I always know how loved and appreciated I am. Because he does these things, I do the same for him.
I can never decide if it is the age difference or if it is simply luck of the draw...I think I'll go with both - I know for sure that he never treated his ex wife this way. Perhaps things do get better with age or maybe the personalities click differently.
Whatever it is... we're happy. He is happy. I'm happy. Actually, I'm more than happy - I'm ecstatic to call him my husband and call myself his wife.
I don't know what the future will bring and I dread the thought of losing him, but it could easily be the other way around. I would prefer to take care of him than to have him take care of me, but that is a risk to be found in any relationship.
I have no doubt that in time we will go through some ‘growing pains’ but as long as he still has his sexy gray hair…we’ll get though it all just fine!
20isagoodnumber 20isagoodnumber
4 Responses Jun 8, 2012

It is always nice to know there are others out there. My husband and I are 19 1/2 years apart. We have been together for 8 years now, married for 4 and our relationship is as strong as ever. The way you describe your husband really resonates with me, because my older husband is also extremely sweet and really values my opinion. Maybe there is something to that older man charm that young boys just haven't mustered yet. :)

How long have u been married

Thank you for posting 20isagoodnumber! I am new to Experience Project, but in essentially the same boat as you are. My fiance is 43 and I am 24. When I met him, I never would have thought I would allow myself to be with such an older man. He doesn't act it though. In fact, I am so mature for my age I joke that I probably would not have liked him as much 20 years ago, as I am generally reserved and not a "partier" as he was during his younger years. He has given me a ring before, but I was scared and turned it down. I now feel that I am ready to marry (we have lived together for 3 years). We have been through so much together, and he has stuck by me through some of my darkest times (a rare find in people these days it seems). He has provided me with a rock with which to ground me. We struggle financially, but just having each other makes any pain bearable. There are still days when I allow fear of the future (not growing old together, being in my prime and a caretaker when perhaps his health may be failing) to paralyze me, and that is my personality. However, when I choose to live in the "now" I am grateful to have a partner who is completely dedicated to my happiness, and I am to his. One frustrating thing is that I am more of a health nut, and I try to push things on him to preserve his health so we can enjoy as many active years together as possible. I would love to talk with you about your experiences with these situations. All of our friends have mates much closer in age, and it is difficult to explain to them in a way that can be understood, although I have received nothing but acceptance from friends and family. They are all happy that I am happy. I still wonder if I would enjoy somebody more intellectual and "book smart" like myself, but our differences in that way seem to complete the package of experience. He is much more wise than I when it comes to relationships and how to treat people while still standing up for himself. I have learned so much from him, and him me as well. There is truth that opposites attract, as we have. He never takes things as seriously as I sometimes do, which is a relief because I can be so hard on myself and let the tough things in life overwhelm me. He is always there to offer a silly gesture to lighten the situation. One of the most difficult parts of the relationship is his back pain. It makes many things difficult in our sex life, and I cannot blame him but it still makes me sad when we can't be as spontaneous as perhaps that sort of thing would be with a younger man. It also scares us both that he will not be able to carry our children, etc. when they are young (neither of us has ever been married or had kids, but is something I definitely want, and the idea has grown on him). From your post I feel you may understand some of these things. It gives me joy to read that I am not alone in this situation, and in fact there can be happiness had (I have read of so many other people regretting marrying a much older man). I would be immensely grateful for a reply of some sort. Thank you.


I hope you don't mind me contacting you like this but I have just read your comment on here and I was intrigued by your story and the large age gap between you and your partner.

The reason why I am getting in touch is because I write for all the national women's magazine's such as Bella, Closer and Pick Me Up and I was wondering whether you'd be interested in talking to me about doing a light hearted article regarding your relationship and how a large age gap can in fact work?

Of course if you decided to go ahead the story you would receive a full read back to check you were happy with the article.

You would also receive a generous fee for your time.

If this sounds like something you might like to do or if you just want to find out more then please get back to me on here or call me on 0121 551 1004.

All the best to you

Jessica King