I didn't know there were so many other women married to much older men. It's good to know Im not the only one. I have been married for 6.5 yrs to my husband 26 yrs my senior. Im 24 he's 50. We were married when I was 18. So far things are ok. We have our ups and down like any other couple, but I truly do love him regardless of his sometimes bad temper and foul mouth. I can honestly say I like to spend time with him. He is always at work so I hardly see him so he doesnt have that much time to get on my nerves. I do wish I would have waited to get married though, I feel like I could have done so much more with my life like continue school and enjoy my 20's with my friends and date some more. But I do not regret it, I have great kids a nice home, and stability in my life. It was kinda akward at first, people still ask me if he is my dad. But got used to it. His family is great with me and my family accepted him instantly. We do however bump heads sometimes, he has more life experience than I so sometmes I feel like a child when he tells me Im not doing something right. This may be kinda corny but when he looks at me I feel the love he has for me and it feels great.
bv830 bv830
22-25, F
3 Responses Sep 13, 2012

i am 18 yrs & he is 63 i will look sexy & fat my parents arranged me this marriage coz if i marry him they said he will support our family i accepted it order uplift my family it is now since 2 yrs completed i hav 2 gals kid 1st i cried wen married but it suited now i have a beautiful life which was unexcepted, in this i am proude to say one thing my dad is from my native both got luv marriage but lot of obstacaes

And then you will be afraid of missing your 30s, your 40s and your 50s. Someday you will look back and see that you wasted your life!

Thank you for your post, I can identify with it. I am with a man 20 years my senior and I believe I have more potential than I am allowing my life to become. We are not yet married or have kids, and he knows I am on the fence and is ok with it. He wants to marry. That is what I want too, I am just not 100% positive it should be with him. I am scared and sad that I might be missing out on my 20s as well, and that I will regret this all some day. I might even be regretting it now. I don't want to live my life always wondering what could have been. But I do, every day. I compare my life to others' and it makes me feel bad. I don't think I know what love is or is supposed to be. I don't know what life is, really.

We have been together 3.5 years, and I don't know what makes me more sad sometimes, staying with him when I believe I can do better, or leaving this person who has become a huge part of my life and who I am. I am so lost and confused and depressed about it, but then there are days when things are okay and I feel like I can do this. Depression is the illness I have dealt with years before I met him, and sometimes it is hard to distinguish which is which, chicken or the egg, the illness or the situation. It isn't just the age difference, but that is as large factor. I am afraid of needing to take care of him for much of my life and then having to start over when he dies. Plus, we are just different people who have a shared history together. We have been through a lot. I know he loves me very much, and I love him too, but sometimes I find it hard to love the life I have and the future we may have together. Sometimes I feel like a coward for not just ending it and getting on with my life. I wish I knew what to do and that I was brave enough to follow my heart, but my heart is so torn between two places. It isn't fair for either of us. I don't know where else to turn, but I know I will just keep waffling back and forth like I have for the last 3 years. I have always felt this way. I fear I may feel this way about anyone else who comes into my life, too. I feel like a caged bird, enclosed in a shelter I have built for myself, but longing to be released.

I wish there was help for me. I feel powerless and weak and hopeless.

Do you enjoy being with this man? Do you still get excited to see him everyday? Do you need things he doesn't give you, emotionally? I ask myself a ton of questions whenever I started to date someone. I moved on quick if I knew I didn't want to see that person everyday, have them hold me.
Once you can figure out for yourself if you truly love this man, then move on to the other questions.
I've been with my husband since I was 18, and he is 16 years my senior. At times I do feel like I'm "missing out", bit then I go out with my friends (with or with out him). If I want to do things he's already done and doesn't feel like doing, I leave him home. We have a relationship built on trust and love. He does not hinder me from doing the things I want, but encourages me to have the confidence in myself to make my choices. You need to build your own identity, and more confident in being independent.

Well, age is just a number. Lots of people are in the same shoes.
even if you did not love him in the start of the relationship because he is not the hot sexy and young looking guy you taught you are meant to be in your 20s you should be having the fun of your life at 20's isn't it? but do not worry or be upset with the guy irregardless of his age or what people would say. People will always talk **** and rubbish. If he makes you laugh, happy and above all if he loves you don't let go because that sexy hot guy you think you should be with might even be a crap such as cheat on you or do all sort of things you don't like. 20 years to 60 or 24 to 58 or whatever you don't have to be sad because you are staying with him or not but trust me if you will be with that young guy who will cherish you even if you are 40 and your old man is dead he will still come running after you. so be happy :)