Not My Usual Action.

I am currently 20 years old and married to a man that is 29 years older than me. My husband is 49 years old and we have been together for a little over a year and married for about 6 months. I love him more than anything and we have recently brought a beautiful baby girl into the world almost 2 months ago. We have a rocky background as to how we met and got together. (Please don't judge.) About 2 years ago I met my husband through an old friend. He was her great-uncle visiting from Maryland to help out on a job at his sister's house. We used to flirt and to me that's all it was until one night we started drinking and after a few hours I had started sobering up and he starting rubbing my back. One thing led to the next and we slept together for the first time July 7, 2011. Here's the kicker though. I felt so bad because he was in a very rocky marriage and I had only made it worse. This was not something I had ever seen myself doing and I had always disapproved of my friends dating older men, especially married men. For that whole weekend we spent time together and unfortunately I was coming out of a very rough relationship. My ex-boyfriend was apparently attracted to men. A few days later he was ready to go back to Maryland and I had found myself sort of falling for him although I wasn't sure it was love or not even though it was mostly about the sex at first. I asked him not to stay away too long. Little did I know when he said there was no way he would be staying away he was planning to come back. That August he left his wife without telling her and came back to me. She found out the next day. It was a complete mess. I constantly called myself a home-wrecker and allowed her to send me hurtful texts and threats because I deserved them. Their divorce was finalized after months of fighting. After a couple of months I found out I was pregnant. Neither one of us were prepared for that since I was told I would not be able to have children without medical help. She is our little miracle baby.
The thing about my husband that has always bugged me is that his past is not so clean. After his first marriage fell through because she decided she liked women and his second marriage began falling apart after years of not being right for each other, he was a bit of an adulterer. My husband is no stranger to having affairs in his past. I have never really worried about it since we are together all the time and because we are pretty solid. Since we do have a daughter together and are happy for the most part, I am confident that he won't cheat. We shall see, though.
My husband has 3 sons, all older than me and breaking the news to them was just as hard as telling my parents. After everyone had time to adjust, we started focusing on my pregnancy. In April of this year, I quit my job as a nursing assistant and started living as a stay-at-home girlfriend. Once I quit my job I lost my insurance and as a result he decided the smart thing to do would be to get married. I did not want to marry him unless he loved me and did it for that reason. He said he loved me and was ready to spend the rest of his life with me. On April 24th at 5:30 pm, we were married in the town hall by a justice of the peace. It was a small and quiet ceremony but it was so nerve-wracking. For the next 4 months we had our ups and downs and we made it through every struggle that came at us. On August 24th I had a cesarean section and at 1:41 pm our daughter was brought into the world at 9 pounds 9 ounces. To this day we are still together and still very happy. I love my husband so much and even though we did not make it to this point properly or under normal circumstances, I will never regret having him in my life. I know this makes us look bad and I was an adulterer but the point of this story is that this is not something I would ever do and I may regret how it happened but I will never regret the outcome. Sometimes it feels good to just talk about it so that you can see just how good a bad situation can turn out.
nbremm nbremm
18-21, F
1 Response Oct 3, 2012

I have been though some of what you are going though. I've been there! and I feel like I'm still going though it