I Am Married to a Much Older Man

24 Years Difference Am I Crazy?

By: deleted

Written on January 4th, 2013

I had just turned 22 when I met my husband. I had a roomate that stole my identity and 40,000 in credit card fraud. I was a hairstylist working at a bar at night at the time and looking at a dead end future with my dead beat 23 year old boyfriend that worked at his parents gas station.I did know what to do but a friend had set me up with this attorney. I met with a man that led me into his library and listened to me cry and act like a 22 year old drama queen. He helped me understand what needed to be done and then walked me out to my car. I left feeling better about The situation and 10 minutes later he called me. He asked me out and I rejected him many times. I thought someone 24 years older than me was way too old. Finally I gave in because he was so relentless. Since that first date weve been on lavish vacations, wined and dined in famous restaurants and exotic locations and live in a 4 story house by the lake. 2 years later we eloped and got married in Italy. Since then everything has been mostly great. The only thing is he is a loud NY Italian and I'm a shy southern belle from SC. We have very different roots. I'm sure his family thinks I'm an uneducated hick that is infatuated with what an older man has to offer and his friends talk behind my back. I'm looked at like a gold digger, tramp, country bumpkin nothing. It's been very hard for me to transition into his world and it makes me feel lonely at times. I do love him even though he is an extremely arrogant know it all. I know he loves me too. Was I meant to live in this world of his that I know nothing about or is this a short lived fairy tale??

By: deleted

Age: 26-30

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7 responses

kamarku

I feel the same way with my husband. He is 21 years older than me and it is very hard to be around his family that see me as a hot little tart. Its been 2 years now and still is hard to be around his family. The worst part is that they are albanian so they just sit around me and speak their language just to be rude.

Jan 4
2 likes
- kamarku
  Lately i started doing everything i possibly can to be around his family so they can really see who i am. its probably never going to be perfect but all that matters is we love eachother. With the language thing i always interupt them when they are speaking albanian and tell how rude it is to do that and now they dont do it so much. I know its a hard thing to deal with and i know its hard for my husband too because my family thinks he is too old for me but they have come around much more than his family has. There really isnt much you can do to change their impression of you but i find it always helps to have someone you can vent to and get advice from.
  
  Jan 4
  1 like
- amithecrazyone
  Hi again: So, I aside from the things that I have already said. The personalities of our husbands are very different. Some part of the difficulties that you are having with your husband really don't have anything to do with age. In spite of the age difference, my husband treated me as an equal and genuinely wished to see me achieve things in life. You are much younger than your husband and the fact that you are not as experienced as he is, is a given. I know many and New Yorker and Southern Bell as well. My opinion is that Southern Bells may talk very sweetly but, they can be iron butterflies. Please don't let anyone put you down, make you doubt yourself or distract you from realizing your dreams. In my experience with large age gaps is that they become factors as time passes.
  
  Jan 4
  1 like
- TURNKEY1
  learn albanian ....... have your husband teach you and not tell them......
  
  Feb 17
  1 like
- amithecrazyone
  Is language the only difficulty here??
  
  Feb 18
  1 like
1 More Reply
jacksonnicky

you're not crazy i was married to a man for 10 years who was 14 older than me, it wasnt the age that made of divorce but it was the way he treated me. age is just a number but some peope make a big deal about it. he treats you well and thats all that counts. people will always talk, just forget about them and love the life your husband has let you share with him. i wish nothing for the best for you!

Jan 4
1 like
- amithecrazyone
  I have been married to someone who is 20 years older for 22+ years. I agree and disagree with your comment "age is just a number" Assuming deleted' husband loves her and treats her with respect, she should ignore the family and friend's thoughts of their union; first the obvious point; it's none of their business. It's her life 24 hours a day, the family thinks about her marriage for probably less than 24 seconds a day! Deleted mentioned that her husband was arrogant and pursued her relentlessly...Does this translated to mean that he is condescending as well as overbearing? True age might not matter when the younger spouse is in their twenties, thirties or forties but, watch out for fifty and on.......I also wish nothing but the best for everyone here.
  
  Jan 5
  1 like

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