Older Man

I met my husband over the phone 3 yrs ago. we met in person 2 yrs after meeting on the phone. we got married last year september. I am 29 yrs old and he is 72 yrs old. before we met in person i had no idea how old he was because he never mentioned it. many persons think it wont work between us and think i did it for opportunity. he is not rich. i work as a bank teller and i was doing pretty well financially before we met. persons just find it hard to believe that this is true love. its not our ages that are in love its us, two people who love each other

kariana kariana 26-30, F 9 Responses Nov 28, 2009

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Hi, I'm 25 and my husband is 40 years older than me. You have nooooo idea the hearbreak it's been to be with him. I've had people look at me like I'm a ****! Had people come up to my face and say he was intrudeced as my pimp. So itssssss sooooo good to hear your story. I desperately need someone to relate to.

I am a 36 year old woman married to a 78 year old man. We have been married for 12 years. So, these relationships can last. I didn't marry for money as I had more assets than he. I married him because I loved/love him more than words could ever explain. We also met on a chat line and communicated for a few months. We lived together for 8 months before we were married. I said all that to say that I was aware of what I was getting into. Granted, there have been things that have come along and taken my by surprise but I made the educated decision to take this step. It has not been easy. He was left impotent due to health about 5 years into our marriage. I was 23 when we can see how that would be difficult. If I could offer you any advice, it would be to not be fooled. There will be things happen that you never thought about. While I wish your husband long and rich health....understand that the chances of that are not really that high. No matter how much you love your husband, there will be times that love is not enough. You must have something more than that. You will have to build the friendship and loyalty it takes to withstand the days the burdens outweigh the blessings. The flip side of all this husband loves me with the most amazing strength. He has experienced things in life that have clarified love and with that, he is a better man and husband. I have chosen to learn form his wisdom and experiences and man, have I cashed in on that! His health is not well and we probably don't have many more years. I know I will soon be closing this chapter of my life and opening a new one. But I will take with me more from these few years than a lifetime could teach me...and I'll still have a lot of years left. Our marriage has also been a wonderful training ground, as it was my first. I have set the bar on things that I didn't even know had a bar previously.
I totally get what you say about people not understanding. They don't have to understand. I would never have guessed that I would have married someone that much older and would probably never do it again but I do not regret my decision....not for a single second. I wish you the best in your journey together. Appreciate and value every day because, more than most, you truly don't know the time you have. Never waste a second on something that is less important than your love.

I thought that we would be the few that made it. He was 25 years older. Been together on and off for 22 years. The age range did not make much difference until the past few years.

Him 70 and me 44. I learned so many lessons to list. We remain friends but separated now. Never thought back when I was 22 and he was 48 that there would be issues.

Married him for love. Our age difference and the stages we are in life now are so different now.

He has become mean and bitter about his aging and angry of my youth. Never saw it coming. He once was so confident and nice. I trusted everything he once said only to find out the past few years much of it was never true.

Its easy to control someone younger until they get older like me now in my 40's not a little girl anymore who once had father issues.

Once you get past the father issues stages in life you want a partner not a father figure husband.

Long story but I would say anyone over 15 years age difference should not get married.

wot if the difference is exact 15....i am 25 he is 40 we are so in love.... we understand each other at certain level. but i am realllly sick worried about our future though i knw evry1's lyf is totaly dffrnt frm othrs still.... and yes i frgot to mention he is korean n i am not!!!

I so agree. You just wrote my life. I am 41 and he is 74. Bad idea. I am a prisoner to his jealousy. I hate my life now. There is no intimacy and once a man doesn't need sex anymore you will find that he doesn't really need you or anything. They become grumpy and only food makes them happy. I am so depressed and hate myself so much. He is broke and I can't afford to leave. All I do is clean up after him like he is a child and believe me, they do become children again. I need a man around this house to fix all the things that are broken and damaged and any time in mention it I am a nag. I hate my life.

How is your relationship going now ???

Sorry, love doesn't conquer everything. did you met over the phone? what do you have in common? how did your family react when you told them? what about children?

Sorry you dont have to answer them..but i just had all those questions float in my mind after i read your story....

i wish you both the best

I feel that when two people are in love, age does not matter. Love can conquer anything. I wish you and your husband the very best!!!

or that is so cute

What do you two have in common?

One of the things I enjoy doing with my boyfriend is talking about the past, listening to music from our teen years or early 20s.

That's a small example - but I could name more things... things that draw us together because we can speak from the same timeframe and same experience.

Good luck!