I have been married to my husband for almost two years, we have a beautiful daughter together. At first I was so impressed with him always being "fine" with everything. Now I am starting to feel more alone in the relationship. He has never answered any of my direct questions or requests with a relavent response. Instead I feel like I get "sandbagged" with what seems to me like irrelevent words. When challenged, he changes his answers consistently until I give up. I am looking for more ways to effecttively communicate with him. The funny part is, I think he truely beleves what he is saying to be true, I find it dishonest, and mean.

I receive the same treatment from my mil, who says nice things but demonstrates complete aggression towards me. When I have explained this to him he states things like "she is just trying to be nice", when to me it is so clearly the opposite.

It is like bizarro world, what gives?
amyjoh amyjoh
31-35, F
3 Responses May 23, 2013

you can not communicate with a p/a there is now way to do that!!! !they are in their own warped world and can not think out side of it!!

Please don't make the mistake I made and stay in that relationship for 21 years. Unless he is willing to recognize HE has a serious problem and is willing to get help, there is almost no chance he will change on his own.

You will live in "quiet" chaos and anxiety, you will begin to question and doubt yourself, and he will repeatedly disappoint you. You will wonder how this "easy-going" man you love can make you feel so completely alone, unsupported, and after several years of his P/A, crazy.

Been there, done that, and it's ******. Google "passive aggressive man is all about control." Great article--it really helped me understand what my STBX was up to and how much it infused ALL of our interactions.