This I Not What I Signed On ForI cannot be the only person that is married to a cop, and is now regretting it. Why should I feel bad that I don't want this life for me or my kids? He's never home, and when he is I wish he'd just go back to work. If he's not a self absorbed piece of @$#%, them he's in a bad mood over the smallest thing, wants to go drink with other cop cheaters, and lastly never looks up from his computer or TV. Some would say you know what you got yourself into. NOOOO, that was not our life before. He worked in construction, and he worked long hours from time to time, and if or when he wasn't making time for me and the kids, he would tell us that we're going out for some family time. I would get flowers at work, and text messages telling me how great his life is because of me and all that I do. I freaking have no idea who the hell this guy is I am now married to!
I want to cut my loses, bite the bullet and get a divorce for my own sanity. I knew that there were going to be new normal(s) coming my way. How can this man be a hero and a zero to his own kids? Just fed up I guess.
One night I sent him a few texts telling him that I think this relationship is really over, and that I don't see a future. He works graves, and when we came in our bedroom in the morning he crawled in bed and woke me up. He wanted to know why all the horrible texts? I told him I was reading last night....and he ask "what were you reading." My answer "the bible" and we never spoke about it again.
Issues never get resolved, and I will never have someone who support my dreams or passions. Every year, I have to worry about Mother's day, my birthday, or christmas. Why? Because I am reminded how little this man knows me or even listens to me. One year when I told him I liked a certain song, for my birthday I got the bands complete collection of every cd they have ever made.
This is probably both bad husband/cop problem. Just ready to get out. They has to be people out there that do not regret walking away from a cop marriage. There has to be a person out there that has good news for me, that our marriage can work being married to a cop. I am a cosmetologist, and believe me, I see first hand how my fellow co-workers are having the time of their lives with their spouses and boyfriends. I want that I really do!!!