Self-Centered Vs. Selfish
When I met my husband he was thoughtful and kind. Then it was all about us, what we wanted to do, what our plans were, etc. He was very considerate. Within the first couple months of being married, I started seeing a trend that, well, it may have been there and I just didn't notice or the "honeymoon" period was over and he felt he could be more himself.
Whichever it was, I suddenly came in last at everything. First, I didn't mind going with him to visit his friends even though I am an introvert. However, he never reciprocates--he doesn't want to visit my friends and he is ALWAYS visiting his friends (6 out of 7 days a week). When I suggest we do things together he has too much to do. But if his friends call he drops everything and goes. He gets upset if I bring this up telling me it isn't true.
Whenever I go to the store for anything I always ask if he wants me to pick something up for him. When he goes he doesn't ask--well okay that could just be, being a guy, but then he gets mad at me if I go to the store and don't ask if he wants anything.
My office was sending me to Florida for a month to a condo on the beach (what a perk huh?). I thought, what a perfect opportunity for my husband and I to go on vacation; sure I'll have to work but there'll be time for us. I suggested we drive, he would only drive if we could stop and sightsee on the way. I don't have that kind of time off, I wanted to drive straight there. He said that if we couldn't sightsee on the way then he didn't want to go.
When I suggest a restaurant he suggests another one. If I don't want to go to the one he suggests then he doesn't want to go or he spends the entire time criticizing the restaurant and how "some people" never want to try anything different.
I can only guess that it is self-centeredness. What else could it be? I sometimes think he thought he married a passive woman, but then I think that couldn't be it because I'm not a passive person by nature.