Torn Between Motherhood And Picking Up His Slack

Hello everyone I feel so happy having found this group. I have been struggling interally with my situation. I feel my husband is very immature and if I don't work my daughter will not have a good life. I have contributed to our household income since we met. Once we had our daughter we decided it was best if I stayed home with her. Since he has been the sole bread winner our quality of life has dwindled. We went from a beautiful home with a huge yard and great schools to a roach infested apartment in an area where the schools don't meet the state standard requirement education tests. My daughter is now 3 1/2 years old. She now notices the bugs, plays outside and rides her tricycle in the parking lot with scattered trash. My husband seems to think that living in a good neighborhood with good schools and a better life is something that is handed out. I am torn between being there for my daughter and finishing school and working while sacrificing my daughter. I don't want to sacrifice nuturing her and giving her guidance yet I feel if I don't she will not thrive to become the best she can be if I don't due to being socioeconomically disadvantaged. This is tearing me up. Being there for her is very important to me because I was neglected by my mother. Can anyone help me to figure this out? I sincerely welcome any advice you all here can give me, thank you.
lediaw lediaw
26-30, F
2 Responses Feb 14, 2010

I put us in our home....and when I was pregnant I stopped working so our lifestyle suffered. He and I both decided I would stay home with our daughter til she was five years old. But he wasn't able to maintain our standard of living. There is an update to the situation.... We are now separated. Can u believe he left me because he said he was tired of carrying the lad by himself! You don't say, imagine that!.....I had been so depressed for the past 5 months...just unhappy an feeling trapped like I didn't hav any way out. I have been relentlessly looking for work and not finding anything. My daughter turned five this past September. I moved in with my sister 2 weeks ago. I am still looking for work and trying to get to a better place mentally which is tough because there is such a feeling of defeat I battle with constantly. He tore my self esteem down so bad I didn't even know it.

When you are the soul provider and the only one concered about her future, you also become an inabler. How? By allowing him to pull both you and your daughter down.<br />
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What happened? How is it that you went from riches to rags? From a home with a yard to a roach motel?