Looking For Support Not Pity

I just dont understand. we have been married for 18 years. I have been faithful and supportive. he completely controlled me for almost 2 decades. I just couldnt take it anymore. I told him to stop treating me so bad but he just couldn't seem to do it.I told him it was over I didnt love him anymore...I left for a few days...However I had nowhere to go, no job, and kids in tow one with special needs...I had to come back home...I told him we could try and work it out if he could just be nice  he said he understood and he was sorry for the way he was treating me and he would change...that was 2 years ago...nothing has changed except he has gotten  better at the manipulations. we have went to counseling and he disregards what the therapist tells him. we have counseled with our pastor. he just twists things around to his favor. I am struggling with the fact that it seems like it will always be all about him and never any concideration for me. I have been accused of all sorts of things ..none of wich I have done, he doesnt allow me any "me" time at all. If at all possible he goes everywhere with me. I feel like I cant breath!I am fighting for self esteem and he seems to be fighting to destroy it.

sludgemuffin sludgemuffin
36-40, F
4 Responses Mar 11, 2009

I have made a better choice...divorce will be final soon...

MAKE BETTER CHOICES.

Look at the info on this link:<br />
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm<br />
<br />
I would also see if there are any support groups in your area.<br />
You are not alone! :-)

I was in a relationship like that, and can honestly say once you leave, you will feel so much better. My boyfriend would not let me go ANYWHERE by myself if it was something I wanted to do. BUT if he wanted something say from the store, I could go by myself. I would get back and the accusations would start "why were you gone so long", "who are you F***ing" so on and so on. I was kept from my family eventually, if I called them he would be on the phone. He would make me feel like it was all my fault, and that no one would want me because I was a piece of **** etc. It took me 3 years to get up the nerve to leave. I know that this is a bit different because you are married, and we weren't, but when I read this it reminded me of my ex. My ex was very insecure and knew that he had me controlled and that is why he continued. I hope this helps.