Don't Allow Negative Spouse to Make You Negative.
I am responding to Look4GreenerGrass.
I can relate to how being married to a negative spouse can ruin your joy. I've been married for 38yrs to a man who complains almost everytime he opens his mouth. He wasn't always this way, or maybe I didn't notice it because I focused on his positive attributes. For a very long time I would try and reason with him, I thought he was just depressed and maybe my positive outlook would change his mind. He only got angrier when I spoke positively and said I didn't understand. As time went by this became really depressing. I couldn't understand why a person who had so many good things in life could be so negative. I realized much later that no matter what I said it couldn't change his complaining. I also realized that he complained to get what he wanted. It worked for him and be learned in early childhood that it was a way to get his needs and wants met. Very manipulative. Now I call him on it when he does it. I walk away. I ignore him. It works for me. I protect my positive mood and detach from his issues.
I can't tell you how to deal with the man who you are married to. We all have different circumstances and have to find different coping skills. I will say, try to stay positive and never allow another person to change who you are. Joy and happiness is a powerful state of mind. When you are in the company of a negative person look at it as if you are you and they are separate from you. When you start to feel uncomfortable you have the right to stop listening and even walk away. Keep being you, positive and strong.