How Does A Husband Cope With A Wife That Has Borderline Personality Disorder And Now Has An Invasive Form Of Breast Cancer??

I have been married almost 10 years to a wonderful, giving and caring woman, most of the time, but when the other person "raises its' ugly head", due to any sorts of life's stresses, like finances, cancer, etc., My wife becomes the angriest person I have ever seen. When she is normal, everything is okay. But once everything that has built up in the VOID erupts, it is like Mount St. Helens exploding. The only thing that sort of keeps her from blowing up is alcohol and food, which she purges and has done so for most of her life.
I have read all the books and my wife is a classic case. It is a shame that no one wants to treat the disorder, yet I understand why, because once the demons have been unleashed, their is no stopping them from saying or doing anything.
Today was another bad day for my wife. I ended up the brunt of her tongue lashing, which is the same as always, but hurts just the same. I am wondering how other husbands cope and what do you do to minimize the blow ups. Drugs do not help since she is on a daily regimen. Because of the invasive breast cancer issue, she is even more on edge now. Any ideas would be most appreciative.
thanks
Bill
billszydlowski billszydlowski
61-65
Jan 23, 2013