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Husband Addicted To "spice"

My husband is addicted to smoking this legal "incense" called Spice (it goes under lots of other names).  He's been smoking for over a year.  He started smoking it because he couldn't smoke weed due to his job.  This substance is much worse than weed: it's more expensive, more addictive, more potent, and has a much greater effect on his mood.  When he is smoking he is high,and he is just kind of out of it and oblivious and unmotivated, but when he doesn't have it to smoke his mood is awful and also his mood swings are much more extreme than usual.  I have told him numerous times that I disapprove and why, but to no avail.  We recently had yet another fight about it, where I told him I though he had an addiction and that I needed him to quit.  He admitted he had a problem, but didn't go so far as to say that he'd quit.  He is still smoking and it is driving me crazy.  It bothers me that he hates his life so much that he doesn't want to really experience it.  He says it is work and stress from his father recently dying, but I can't talk myself out of thinking that his life at home must have something to do with it (since that is what he's actually "escaping").  It hurts and it makes me extremely sad and angry.  It's effecting my mood and making me weepy and short tempered.  I don't trust my husband to quit, and I know that addictions are tough things to kick.  But I don't think  he really wants to quit, so there seems to be little hope that he will.  I told him that I would only put up with it for so long, but we have a young daughter and I'm quite financially dependent on him.  I am frustrated, depressed, and desperate.  And, sadly, ever time he smokes I really feel like I hate him.  I hope it's just his addiction that I hate but it's just hard to even think something like that - it wasn't so long ago that I loved him so much that I couldn't bear to be away from him for even a few months.....
HRobsonGriffin HRobsonGriffin 26-30 231 Responses Aug 1, 2010

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I'm going through the same with my boyfriend for the past 6years I used to have a problem along time ago with him I ended up quitting I only last very short time I got tried of it at some point and my health wasnt good.I hate to see him buying every other day in away I like to say he is better smoking weed cause he's not a mean and angry all the time. but he is addicted bad and me and my son has to see it all he wants to do is get up smoke, go to work, come home and smoke dont even like to go places for to long he is antisocial bad.I made changes in my life how come he cant?
I feel alone he says I pay for my stuff and this house you either suck it up or leave I have no where else to go!
I'm finally being brave enough to save money that he give me so I can leave soon I hope its soon.Im just affraid I will get my baby taken away because if him im tring to live by the law and do right I tell my son that.
I pray for changes everyday to happen thats positive he love us deep down I know he does he is an addict,its the drugs thats confusing his mind all to hell.I hate all drugs and what they do.

I recently got in a relationship with this guy I met online we were talking for a couple months before anything happen between us,now I'm living with him..I found out he smokes potpourri the first day( never knew about it) so I brushed it off since it wasn't an illegal drug...first couple of days when he was high he would slur his words ,move in a slow pace and just have a slow reaction to everything smh then he transformed on me he started changing his faces like he was a viscious animal, ran outside n kept running hollering that I was going to take his soul and that I put voodoo on him to get out of his mind...I've been researching and if I would've known about POPE I would've never started this relationship I've been with him a month 1/2 n don't know what to do. I have 2 children which are not currently with me but I plan on bringing them to stay with me l....I can't have this man around my children what if he gets a bad batch and freaks out Smh he gets aggressive, very easily agitated and very angry when he doesn't hhave it I've noticed....I just don't know what to ive only been with him a month 1/2 but I don't want him to think I'm coldhearted by just leaving n giving up on him but I don't think I can do this

Like u I am coping with the SAME issues but with my 20 yr old son I understand how your feeling Ifeel this way daily expressing my thoughts on it and nothing lazy dazy dirty just watching him smoke min after min day after day the mood swings all the above I feel that what i say its hopeless he already dianosed with ptsd and now this I swear I to feel like when he smokes I hate him I don't want to feel that I love my son but I don't see him quiting he smokes so much of it to almost like a crack head . I have a cousin who is 35 was addicted to it she explanded to me how its worse than herion. She said her body would go through withdraws bad she was pregnant and wanted to stop but the withdraws were horrible. She got help when she explained it on her veiw I now see him going through it sometimes I have to leave my own home cause I can't watch him complain at him walk around bitching picking up every mess please lord I need a miracle I'll pray for u and your family if I left he would sleep behind the goodwill stoned out of it I did this he was out of his mind on the streets 4 a yr

It's very easy to believe that if you are living with a drug addict that the responsibility lies in your hands. You believe that if you leave, they will self destruct. You believe that if you stay, they might change. The most important thing you can do is to leave. Force them to face up to reality of their addiction. Protect yourself and your kids. As long as you stay, you are buffeting them from reality. You are protecting them and allowing their addiction to continue, by making sure bills are paid, food is in the cupboards and all the other things that they can ignore in favour of drugs. If you live with a drug addict, you live like a drug addict. Legal highs are no different. The cycle of addiction is so powerful and you are, by staying, allowing yourself to be swept up into it. You might not use yourself, but you are still living the life. Why would anyone choose to live this way by choice? It will be the hardest thing you ever do, because you are walking away from someone who you believe needs you to help them. But he doesn't want your help. He wants drugs. He wants to obliterate himself, and he can do this because he knows you will pick up the pieces. I know this sounds harsh, but show yourself some respect and get out. Show him that you mean it by sticking to your word. Do not leave him money. Change your number. Take your kids. Protect yourself, because he is not going to change unless you leave. If he really loves you, he'll fight to get you back. I speak as someone who has done this before, and it was the hardest thing I had ever done. The person I left is still using, nearly 8 years on. I have met, remarried and had children with someone else in that time. You deserve better.

I hope that you are still on this husband has recently quit spice not by choice but by a total ban that finally went into effect. Please tell me that this anger and madness comes to an end. He wants to leave but with no money it is practically impossible. He has said he wants a divorce that he hates this house our dogs and he just wants to live in an apt by himself. I told him over and over to go to rehab but he just says its not possible (no money no desire no research on his part and he wouldn't listen to me even if I told him about it) Please tell me you have come out of this on the positive side!?

I'm 22 years old with no children, I'm dating a 32 man/father of 3 who has popped the question. We're so in love and passionate that it's hard for me to explain. When we first got together he told me he smoked "spice" every now and then, I didn't seem to mind because I was unaware of what spice was and I thought every now and then actually met every now and then I was wrong...he smokes every day all day, i have to beg him to stop. He gets so messed up that we will have a planned date was scheduled time and he'll forget, leaving me places for hours while in the mean time he has already been passed out for hours. Oh did I mention all of this is done with my money...he passes out along the side of the highway, he gets tickets and doesn't remember how... the thing that brother me the most is that he lies about it all. ... please just help me

My husband is 48 and after 30 years of him smoking weed he picked up this TRASH to pass drug tests. He nods off' does not shower doesn't sleep in bed with me cause he has to smoke every couple hours. I can't take it anymore. READY TO LEAVE sad so many years lost.

I'm going through the exact same thing .. my boyfriend smokes this crap called spice... his only 17 and on probation... so since he can't smoke weed due to the drug test his p.o does he smokes spice... I love him very much .. Ive cried and begged him to stop.. but doesn't listen :( his friends also smoke spice.. which is even worse because when my boyfriend has no money for spice his friends give him a bowl or two... my boyfriend recently went to juvy again for this drug.. was in there for about 2weeks.. came out and didn't smoke for about a month... untill now... he started again... I can't even talk to him because all he does is sleeps all DAY! And when he does wake up its because his gonna smoke... I'm so tired of it! I don't see the guy I fell inlove with anymore :( .... I dont know what to do...

i absolutely positively understand what you are going to my husband is also addicted to spice, even though he supposedly quit months ago. He thinks i'm a fool when he gets $20 worth of gas in a town 10 minutes away every single day. I think about leaving him every single day but we have 2 young children together who love their dad but so sad at this point I don't think I do. I look at him and hold on to the past before this addiction but that is long gone. I have nothing to hold on to I have been so depressed the thought of being stuck with him the rest of my life but accept life for what it is I chose in the beginning before we had kids to stick with an addict and be there for him and now three years later and he is still a addict and I fail to be his support system now who will support me.

Just wanted to let you know that my husband did eventually get clean, but I had to leave him twice and our relationship is still not totally recovered, but it did work out. I hope sincerely that it works out for you and your family.

hi this is tony im from pa im 24 iv had a BAD spice addiction for 3 years, hell i just borrowed $20 soi could get some this morning. i guess the point of wat im trying to get at is how do u put up with him, my gf does the same thing day in and out w've been together for ten years and shes about fed up with it

How do you put up with him? Love and the complexity of circumstance go a long way. Sometimes putting up with it is the only option. For me I dealt with it, badly, for about a year and a half. I didn't sleep well, I was constantly moody, I drank too much, I smoked cigarettes, I avoided my husband as much as I could while living with him, I begged and pleaded and tried to inform him about the risks he was taking. In the end I couldn't put up with it anymore and, while still loving him, I left. things slowly got better after that. I wish you luck.

I went trough that with my husband, he was hooked on spice for over two years, he finally stopped a few months ago when it became illegal in this state, I was so happy and thankful , I know he wouldn't stopped if it didn't become illegal , :/ those were the worst years of my life I tried everything to make him stopped but nothing worked , I'm glad it's on the past

I was addicted to spice for 3 years smoking 6 grams a day spending 50$ a day. It took my fiance getting pregnant in order for me to stop and I went threw tha worst withdrawal ever in my life. But I did it for my fiancé and my baby so it can be done. You jus have to let your husbands know that the withdraws only last about a week and start feeling to about 70% on day 3. You get better day by day. It's a very hard habit to kick but it can be done. I had to change my whole routine. I rearranged tha whole house to make it look like a different enviroment and that helped alot.

I know EXACTLY how you feel also. My fiancé smokes it when he gets up,before he goes to work,when he gets home from work....ETC. I have BEGGED,PLEADED,CRIED (You name it) I've even told him I would LEAVE if he does NOT STOP!!! All he says it that it relaxes him because of pressure he's under with things going on in his life. He's also told me he's not doing anything wrong. It hurts me to see him comotosed (however you spell it) I can't even carry on a simple convo with him I gotta get up & leave at times 'cause he makes no freakin sense!!!! I love & care about him very much but,I can't take no more. Someone PLEASE HELP ME!!! what should I do?!?

You put up with it for as long as you can, and then you leave. Plan it out well, stay with family or friends if you can. It doesn't always have to be forever but you have to do what is best for you at some point.

I don't know what you should do sweetie because I've had the same experience. My husband drives me nuts when he smokes spice and he can't speak properly. He sounds like a bad drunk or some crazy person. It makes me so angry that I just don't want to be in the same room with him. I'm constantly asking him to speak up and stop mumbling. It is infuriating! Especially since when he is sober he is a very intelligent man. I'm sorry you're going through this too.

I feel your pain. This is the new Crack I swear! My husband has pawned his wedding band, our laptop, anything he could his hands on!

Yea, theres a lot of us with the same problem huh. but Im the husband who changed, did everything his wife asked him to so she would come back home. I realized my wrongs, and for once my life was actually going to be doing good. Got the great job even though she took the car..spent hundreds on flowers shed just get annoyed over. Then come back with me in our bed(more often then before) but leave before i wake up. Argue and plead for a week.. then repeat. 5 months now after 8 years marrage. Till i found out while i was changing and giving her her :space: she started smoking the **** too and now is worse than i ever was on it Has to smoke so often, cant hide it from the 5 children..cause then she never see she selling and everything. All you wives who commented.. if u husbands would have done anything to get you back..maybe they just needed a wake up call. or did u leave and not look back. Either way there is nothing more vile and evil in this world than synthetic pot!!!

I am going through exactly the same thing. My husband met this guy a year ago at work, and since then he has become increasingly addicted. I've begged and pleaded with him to stop. I've changed my behavior thinking it was something I was doing to upset him. I've forbidden him to see this guy, but nothing seems to make him want to quit. I am 7 months pregnant with our first baby, and my husband is in the military. I don't know what else to do. I'm angry and confused, and I have no one to turn to without getting him in a lot of trouble. He constantly lies to me and finds excuses to leave the house so he can go smoke with this guy. This week he even started missing work for it. Three days. That's desertion. After receiving a message that he had yet again skipped out on a formation yesterday afternoon, I left work and drove to this guys house finding my husband there so completely messed up that he could hardly function. It was heartbreaking. I absolutely lost my mind which probably wasn't the best way to handle it, but I'm at the end of my rope. We fought and I yelled and I dragged him home, and we spent a very tearful evening together. And as the effects started to wear off, I felt like he was starting to understand what he was doing to not only himself, but to me and the baby as well. He eventually broke down. Once again he is promising to quit, but as I forced him to let me drive him to work this morning, he lit up another bowl right in front of me. He's past the point of wanting it. He needs it. He left the little box of spice and his bowl in my car, and I am struggling with the idea of throwing it in the trash. But I know this won't help. I'm afraid it will just make him go right back to the guy's house. I don't want to leave him. I want to help him. I know I can't make him stop. What do I do????

My husband started out in the military and was smoking it during our pregnancy. He is now no longer in the military he was discharged for drugs. I wish I had someone tell me to run so im telling you it doesn't stop its been 3 years and nothing has changed and I have 2 kids now so run please he will lie and do anything to smoke it.

Please reply with authenticity, support, and respectMy husband is in the Military now - getting kicked out in the next few weeks because of this awful drug. I've wasted 4 yrs of my life and am now pregnant with baby #3- three sons. I have no option anymore but to leave, for a better life for my sons and myself. Its not the job, its not just a "phase", its not just one last time, its an addiction. He will not stop, the only thing to do is get some counseling so you can start to learn how to take care of yourself and your kids (if you have any). He's not doing it to purpose to "hurt" you, its hard to take a step back and look at it for what it is and that is -his problem. NOT yours. Its his addiction, and his bad choices that affect all the people around him. Leaving does not mean you don't love or care for his well being, its quite the opposite I feel, but you can't allow the drug to drag him and you and your kids down with it because it will. You cannot take the responsibility for his drug use, you cannot control it, you cannot guilt him out of doing it or give him ultimatums to stop, this will only drive his need to hide his feelings of guilt and depression in the drug even more. Professional counseling for the "co-dependent" was a great help in my life and gave me the strength to get off the drug wagon he is on. I find great comfort in knowing that I can end the bad feelings when I choose to and not be controlled by his drug use anymore. I highly recommend finding a counselor that deals with drug addiction and co-dependence. He will only truly stop when HE is ready to, otherwise he will continue to lie and hide it. Its the same with any addiction really - the addict has to realize it is a problem and have the drive to want to stop. I have gone through 4 years of pretty much everything listed on these boards, he even got so high one day he lost his mind and got confused put his hands on me in front of our children and spent a night in jail because of it, and it still didn't bring him into reality. It became my fault for having to call the cops and "get him in trouble" and that's when it hit me that he's just not the same man anymore. He needed help I just could not provide BUT I can get help for my myself and my kids and wish him the best of luck and that he finds help and gets himself better. He is a very special person and that what makes it so hard, but living in the past of what used to be can be dangerous if what he is today is a drug addict.

I am also going through the same thing and I am 9 months pregnant. My husband starting smoking while he is at work and I'm terrified he is going to lose his job because he gets so messed up from this crap. It's ruining our lives and I don't know what to do. He told me he was going to quit and did for a few days, but now we are back at square one. I HATE DRUGS and only a selfish bastard would do this to someone about to give birth in less than a week. What the hell am I to do??!?!?!

I am going through the exact same thing as well. My husband and I have only been married a few months but had been dating for 3 years prior. We have 2 little girls and all he ever wants to do is smoke..when he has it, he's super happy and friendly but when he doesn't, he's a completely different person. It's like night and day. We barely have the money as it is - I keep telling him I can't put up with it any longer but the last thing I want is divorce. It's so bad that I can't even carry a conversation with him if he doesn't have any. I don't know what to do anymore...

my son is 30 years he smokes spice he turns from dr. jackal to mr. hide. there is nothing you can do to save them. He turn on all of us, I feel my son is no more my son. run away save yourself. maybe they will change when you leave.

for 2 years i have been smoking spice, for 2 years i have been making this drug for you people, today i say no more i look at the tragedy's and problems, yes i have made millions of dollars and spent it all just to smoke myself and keeping family high, NOW everyone quits around me because i have made them, i cut off there access but what about me i have 6 kids a great home could have a better family experience with my family if i can get away from it! Now to say i have 6000 dollars in bills a month a hell of alot to worry about and i am always paranoid this has been my only means of income for 2 years now i feel stupid and dont even know if i can hold a job. What could i do well in my defense i am going to take my actions experiences and knowledge and educate young innocent minds to stay away from this stuff, I am sitting here now pipe beside me and crying! what do i do? this stuff is very evil my friends. Trust your maker! today i make this first step towards quitting. please pray for me. god knows who your are talking about~

Why would anyone pray for you? You are PURE EVIL. YOU have made me depressed for the past year. YOUR ******* DRUG is making me go crazy and i haven't smoked it in a ******* YEAR, am i forever going to feel like a pile of ****. I'M only 18 and i want to ******* die from this ****** drug. I truly hope you burn in hell for letting all these teens smoke this drug and actually thinking it was synthetic marijuana. This is nothing like marijuana, it's a terrible drug and you made it just so you can live in a big house and drive a nice car. Enjoy yourself and please keep smoking spice.

Hey I'll pray for your mercy and forgiveness but you can be a huge help to us man my fiance has been doing all the things I've read above I have a child with him and one on the way he has lost two jobs in the past month and I have no idea what we are going to do

You need to speak out at your shop in public and online make it clear how horrible this drug is the right thing to do is go give information about it to appropriate resources I pray God touches your heart and you take the initiative to take me seriously and fix what you helped break

I have the same problem he Constantly lying to me about he's not going to biy anymore, we have twins on the way and barely making it and he blows all his money on spice that sometimes we have no gas money. I can't handle it anymore and im glad im not the only one going through this, I hope things get better for you.

i have the same problem my fiance is smoking it still even after it put him in icu just a few short days ago and he doesnt seem to care that him smoking it hurts not only him but our family. he hasnt worked in 4 weeks our phone is off and our daughter is due in 6 weeks or less. what do i do

I am going through the same thing. I love my husband but feel I hate him when he is high. Which is now 90% of the time. This started about 3 years ago. He was smoking spice occasionally and in July of 2010 we lost his brother, who was his best friend. He dealt with it the best I think he knew how. He still only smoked occasionally, it was not until almost a year later that this disgusting drug has taken him over. He is unmotivated, can hardly talk when he is on it. He got clean for about a month in Feb of this year, but he went right back to it. We have 2 small children and I am over this, however, I too am financially dependent on him. I am so very sick of this. I am just negative about everything right now. This is affecting my character very much. I say such mean things to him...I just do not know what else to do. I have cried, begged, pleaded. He can go a few days without it. So I know he CAN quit. But he just does not seem to really want to. I believe since he can go days without it, he can quit, but just chooses not to. We have gone through all of our money. He lost the best career opportunity he has had in our 8 years of marriage to this crap!!!! I am fed up! No one really understands. My friends husband was hooked, but he quit, so now she can not relate!

My boyfriend is also addicted to that crap... I really don't know what to do but I'm making him move out next week... not much else I can do. You can't change an addict they have to do that themselves

I'm so glad that I found these posts but its unfortunate that they're here. I'm in the same position as mostly everyone here except I've finally left with our 2 year old and 4 month old with nothing but the clothes on our backs. I can't believe how this thosesubstance can change someone 100%. We used to have fun as a family doing family things but those days are gone along with our home and anything of value that has been sold or pawned in is order to support his habit. My bf made over 35 grand last year and there is nothing to show for it besides empty packages. His tantrums and violent outbursts towards me in front of our kids is what forced me to leave.its been a scary process and still is but it has to be better than what it was.i wish him the best and hope the man I fell in love with comes back to me one day clean and sober and finally admitting what he was doing was

My husband is addicted to spice too and we are no longer togeather. He pawned everything we have that was worth anyything. He got to the point where he stole his dads wallet,stole from my purse and tried to steal from his kids. He is angry all the time unless he has smoke and refuses to get help. The last straw was when he became crazed from not having any spice and chaced me up the street barefoot in pajama bottoms. It was 114 degrees and he burned his feet. He was desperate for money that I didnt have. He even hit me. The point is I can't make him stop smoking, I can't make him seek help or get treatment. Its his choice. Until Your husband chooses to get help and quit your life and his actions will only get worse. You have to do what's right for you and your child. This isn't your fault and you are not alone.

I am 26, I have an 8 year old and a 4 year old. My boyfriend is 40 years old and we have been together 3 years. After a year of dating, I moved a hour and a half away from my family and moved in with him. He insisted that instead of working I return to school to get my degree so I can achieve a good job to support my children if anything ever happened. I agreed since I had wanted to be able to go to school but made it clear I would be more than willing to work. He makes good money at his job and he was a great boyfriend and father figure. For the past 3 months he has started smoking this stuff. He hid it from me and when he was caught I confronted him. I didn't want to have someone doing drugs around me or the kids, and this stuff has radically changed him. He is moody, aggressive, defensive, and slightly moronic when he is high. He says its a "functional" high, but he seems not to remember what hes doing, his family which he used to say he does everything for has became a backdrop, and his world seems to revolve around buying and smoking his stuff. He snaps at me for everything, seems to think I have an ulterior motive in every action and word that I do or say, and has recently accused me of being a "gold digger", not doing anything for him, and that until I am paying the mortgage I have no say in our life, his decisions, or anything else. So I said I would be getting a job and he immediately started to say I need to finish school and not worry about it. I am frustrated, upset, I feel like crap because Im constantly on the offense trying to dodge verbal attacks and put downs. I have lost 30 lbs and hardly sleep due to stress. I love the man I started this life with, but I don't know this stranger. How can I help someone who doesnt think he has a problem? How do I get my life and confidence back from someone who defends this stuff like its his child? I don't want to leave him but it seems increasingly like the only option, and with me not finished with school, no job, and two kids, I feel like a failure and like I wasted my time, the kid's time, and his. He says he loves me, but he loves that more, and I believe half the time that he cant even stand me. I am so lost. I didnt even know this stuff existed, and now because of a so called "friend" I am loosing my family. Can anyone give me some advice?

I'm so sorry for your situation. You need to know that you are not alone - many people are going through this exact thing! Also you need to know that people can and do get though this. You need to always be totally honest with your boyfriend, and try, even though it's hard, to keep calm when you are talking to him about how you feel about his addiction. If he is totally unresponsive, and especially if he becomes verbally or physically abusive leave if you can. Sometimes being left alone, and the horrible feeling of losing something important to you can help addicts to re-prioritize in the long run. Quitting is not easy, but it is possible. But you can't do it for him, you can only look out for yourself and your children. Do what is best for you. Good luck.

I am going through the EXACT SAME THING with my husband. We have two small children together and i work, but alot of our finances are from him. I know that i will get child support, but it scares me to know that i will havw to find another home dor me and our boys and not knowing what is going on if/when he has them on certain days when we get separated. I am so tired of him telling me that i am cheating on him and that is why im "mean to him." When really its bc i hate him when he is high, which is every second of every day when he is not working.

I am 20 my boyfriend is 21 and we have a 14 month old little boy. My boyfriend has always seemed to have battled 'addictions' whether it be consistently drinking, smoking, etc. he was put on Ard and not able to smoke weed so he started smoking spice. It smells horrible, I don't want it anywhere near my child. If he doesn't get to smoke he is so mean and irritated and will always leave the house to go find some. I've threatened him so many times but I am unfortunately stuck in a lease with him and am financially dependent on him ATM. I dot know what to do anymore or where to turn..

My husband and I are a young couple. He is 19 im 24. He smokes spice, I do not. We have one child who is 2 and one due in the next month or 2. Our oldest is my biological son but not his while our new one is. He works alot and isnt home much. When he is home he is always disappearing for hours at a time on "walks" he says. But when he shows back up he is staggering, eyes are red, laughs at everything...just out of it. We have had conversations about him smoking it in the past and everytime it ends in him promising to quit, tossing all his stuff in the trash. Over time he went from being happy, always spending time with us to taking long walks, driving off for hours or just oblivious to our existence. I hint at the behavior, saying he looks upset or even high and he denies it. Just recently he came home for a week straight staggering, speach slurred, clumsy as can be so i told him he needed to go to the doctor. This being my way of seeing if he quit for real or not. Of course he refused so I threatened to call an ambulance to get him because his behavior was scaring me and the baby. He got all upset saying not to, saying it was medicine for a bad tooth ache and he was just tired. After that I knew he hadnt quit. We talked about it and he had no choice but to admit it when i found the pipe in his hand. This has happened many times since then.I just dont know what to do or who to turn to. I want him to stop and he admits to being addicted but even when I take the money he finds a way. I love him so much but I cannot bring a new baby home to this. It depresses me because it makes me feel as if me and the kids are not important to him. I dont want to leave but im starting to wonder if thats the only thing left to do. Maybe I can get my point across that way. I wish everyone the best of luck, hope all of our luck changes and we can all get in a better place with this.